The Arrangement

Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Trent followed me back to my apartment, my stomach coiled in anxiety the entire drive. I was not looking forward to this. When I got inside I started the process for coffee. It was more to stall and do something with my hands than anything else. I braced myself on the counter as my mind was a whirlwind when I felt two arms encircle my waist.

"Finished stalling?" Trent whispered as he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Overwhelmed is more accurate." I admitted as I turned in his arms. His grip loosened and he rested his hands on my hips. Something about this felt right, but my head wouldn't shut up and quit reminding me that I shouldn't trust him.

"Understandable." Trent's eyes searched mine. "You don't seem too angry with me at the moment."

"I'm too exhausted to be angry." I took his hands off my waist but laced my fingers with his. "Trent," I sighed trying to formulate the words to convey what I was feeling. "I need to know what you're planning, what you're thinking." I settled on, even if it wasn't quite right.

Trent's hands trailed up my arms to my shoulders and he pulled me against him. I tucked my head under his chin as he held me close. "Right now, I'm thinking about how right this feels and how much I missed having you in my arms." Trent confessed. "There is nothing I want more tonight than to hold you, show you that I do love you." Trent kissed the top of my head. "I'd love to make love to you, though I don't expect it."

I wrapped my arms around Trent and rested my head against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat, it was rapid and wild. I took in his words and processed them. I leaned back and looked into his eyes. I stared into them for a long moment before I leaned up and kissed his cheek.

Trent smiled down at me for a moment before he dipped his head and kissed my lips. It was gentle and ended too soon. When our eyes met again there was fire in his eyes. What I couldn't say with words, I think was expressed in his eyes. In another moment, his lips were covering mine, this time fervent and frantic. His arms pulled me against him, his hands everywhere. His hands cupped my butt and he lifted me, my legs wrapped around his waist. Terrified. Exhilarated. Hopeful. Nervous. Anxious. There were a few of the fleeting emotions that were whirling around inside of me.

The next thing I knew I was on my bed and Trent pulled back breathless.

"Baby, are you sure?" Trent was giving me an out.

I shook my head. "I'm not sure of anything anymore."

Trent nodded and took a deep breath. He stood up completely, putting distance between us. "Then let's wait." Trent kissed my forehead. "I think I've given you enough regrets for a lifetime." Trent leaned his forehead against mine.

My eyes searched his. I, for one, was more than a little confused.

"You look disappointed." Trent mused.

I was. As my senses started coming back, I smelled the coffee. "We forgot the coffee." I remembered.

"You're adorable." Trent smiled. "Get ready for bed, I'll fix you some just the way you like it." Trent kissed me again before he left.

I shook my head. I was being crazy. If Trent hadn't stopped, I would have slept with him. I changed into a pair of sweatpants and an aquarium tank top then washed my face.

"Here you go," Trent handed me the coffee.

"Thanks." I sipped it as I tried to find the words to say.

I was lost in thought when I felt Trent's fingers on my shoulders, gently kneading.

"Relax," Trent whispered. "You're just tense."