Just don't give up on me

clubbing in spa

*Elodie*

Pierre pulled me through the crowd. I held his hand tightly and tried to run as close as I could behind him so I wouldn't lose him. The party Charles had dragged us to after the race was huge. There were so many people here that I almost felt a little uncomfortable. Again and again his hand threatened to slip out of mine as people kept squeezing between us.

He pulled me a little closer to him, then looked over me and nodded before I could feel a pair of hands on my hips. I flinched at first, then looked over my shoulder and recognized Max.

He leaned down a bit towards me so his lips were almost at my ear "Don't worry. You won't get lost.".

I immediately felt a shiver down my spine "I'll take care of you.".

What was this man doing to me? Quite unconsciously, I let myself fall against him a little and allowed him to press his chest against my back. I liked the way that felt. I liked that he was so close to me and that I could feel him so clearly. I liked him and I couldn't deny it.

Even though I had sworn to myself that I would never get involved with a Formula 1 driver, there was nothing I could do about the fact that Max pleased me.

I had already gone way too far when I had fallen asleep on his shoulder and again when I had slept in his bed and I had gone too far again when we had sat behind his motorhome holding hands.

I had had the chance to break it off in all those situations. Just like I had it now. But I didn't. I let him walk me through the crowd and enjoyed it way too much.

His hand slid up my back and touched the skin that my back cleavage exposed. Every little hair on my body immediately stood up. I could feel his thumb tracing slow circles over my skin as he pressed even tighter against me.

I had almost forgotten that I was still holding Pierre's hand.

I wanted to turn to Max, to look at him, to know what was going on in his eyes right now. I wanted to look up at him, to let my hands slide into his hair, to pull his face toward me.

I felt his warm breath on the back of my head and let my free hand slide back a bit to feel for his hand, which was still on my hip. He took my hand immediately and intertwined his fingers with mine.

"I'll always take care of you." he mumbled, then I lost Pierre's hand and some people squeezed between Pierre and me, so I lost sight of him.

Max, however, was standing so close behind me that no one could have squeezed between us. He pulled me even closer to him.

"Always. I promise.", I let myself sink completely against him.

He made me feel safe. Even though we barely knew each other, I trusted him. I trusted him completely.

His hand slid from my back to my neck. He turned my face in his direction.  My heart began to race. I knew what was going to happen now. And I knew I wanted it to, but I knew just as well that it wasn't the right thing to do.

I couldn't get involved with a Formula One driver. I couldn't be with someone who I had to worry about constantly, who I had to be afraid of something happening to before every race.

It was difficult enough to be friends with them, but to build a future with someone who I might lose every time he raced was something I couldn't bear.

And no matter how much I wanted to, no matter how much I wanted to kiss him right now, I knew it wasn't the right thing to do.
Not only would I worry all the time, but I was way too broken. I was just starting to process what had happened three years ago and I couldn't bring Max into that. Basically, he didn't know anything about me. He didn't know how bad it had been and he didn't know how bad it could get. I didn't know myself what else was going to happen and I didn't want him to get involved in something he didn't know was coming.