My Random Rants or Thoughts

1

I don't think people understand what it's like to go through what I'm going through. Well not specifically what I'm going through because they aren't me. I don't know what Sally down the road is going through even though the same things are happening to me, I'm not her and I don't process things like she does or some very minor seeming details may make a huge difference. That's what I'm trying to get at here. We all may be going through the same things physically, but mentally we are always going to be different. A lot of people don't seem to realize that we aren't connected by the brain. We aren't thinking the same thoughts or thinking those thoughts in the same way. Two children may have lived in the same household and may have been abused in the same way almost exactly, but that doesn't mean that they share the same thoughts. One may be able to overcome what they went through and use their experiences to develop as a better person, while the other may take a turn for the worse and dwell on their past and become the exact opposite. We as humans have the ability to choose how we go about our lives and some of us choose the wrong path or we just make a tiny mistake that somehow affects us in some way that forcefully changes our outcome.

All of this is why I choose not to go to therapy, counseling, or any physiological help. I don't take medication because I've taken a couple of different ones and never saw a change that I liked or even considered to be good at all. Life is going to keep pushing me down, but I still get up because I want to see a change that I think will become a reality one day.

I've come to the conclusion that I may have a condition called Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD. I started noticing the signs after I looked up and studied the term a bit. I watched for the signs throughout the last month and came to my conclusion one night as I thought even more deeply about it. I found this question/answer on

What is a BPD person like?

People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.

A person with BPD feels out of touch with reality constantly. They don't feel real and their surroundings feel fake. It also talks about their mood. I've noticed that I can get very irritated easily with others or even with myself. I thought that maybe it was my anxiety causing me to get so nervous to the point where it turned into anger. I never thought that it might be something more. .

Surveys have estimated the prevalence of borderline personality disorder to be 1.6% in the general population and 20% in the inpatient psychiatric population.

That's close to 79 million people because 1% of 7.9 billion is 79 million people.