My Random Rants or Thoughts

2

Nothing ever feels real anymore. I feel so alone that it hurts. I don't want to die, but I do. Ya know? I want love, but I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I don't know if I want to be a girl, a boy, or something else. I'm so conflicted. I feel like my mind is fucked up for good and I'll never be able to be ok ever again. I hate therapy because they'll never be able to understand because I can't explain how I feel fully. I hate taking meds because they don't work or they make me feel fake. I don't like fake people.

(That part above is old as shit lmao)

It's now 2024. Yay?

I don't know know what I'm doing.

My family all hates me. I'm always the target. My job sucks, but I don't wanna just sit around like bum collecting money from ssi. It does sound appealing sometimes, but I have to have a life. I need a purpose and I can't find one. I have a cat now. His name is Bailey. He's one thing that's been helping keep me sane.

I really need some help or I might actually snap.