It's too much.

Chapter Ten. Tired.

I am tired.

Emotionally, mentally, physically.

I want to cry and kill myself.

But I also just want to be in his arms, having him hold me close and not let anyone touch me.

I only want his touch... I crave his touch, I imagine his touch.

I am in love with his touch and he has never even touched me before, yet I crave it so bad and become obsessed with it so easily... I miss his voice, it calms me down and helps me sleep, I want to hear his voice right now.

I don't want to go to sleep cuz I know I'll end up waking up with nightmares and having a panic attack. I hate it... I want him, I want to be held by him, I want his touch all over my body, I don't care, I just want him.

I want to smell him, I want to feel him, I want to cuddle him, I want to kiss him, I want to cry with him, I want to hold him, I want him to hold me....

I only fucking want him... and I hate others touch, I don't want others to touch me, I don't want others to feel me, I don't want others to see me cry, I don't want others to hold me or cuddle me...

I only want him, only he can calm my mind down at night, only he can make me feel so safe, I just want him... only him...

I need him, I am so deeply in love with him that it makes me cry that I can't touch or kiss him right now.

It hurts so much that I can't hold him while he cries or wakes up with nightmares.

It hurts that I can't be there for him more and I crave every bit of him and I want to scream and run to him...

I want him...