Overwhelmed [3] 《SHADOWHUNTERS》

Chapter Thirty-Five

Andina's eyes opened suddenly, pricked by the grit that had glued them shut in her sleep. The room was white with the presence of the sun, forcing a glare upon her worse than her typical hangovers. She hadn't rested deeply enough to trick herself into fantasy, her chest still weighed down by the smell of antiseptic that was a constant attack to her nostrils. The acrid waft of coffee long gone stale swam from the counter across the room, a barely touched paper bag alongside it.

Her attention trailed over the bodies that hadn't left, a murmured lull beside her as Simon finally succeeded in getting Isabelle to share more than urgent words. The bright hair of his best friend was thrown across an empty cushion, having slipped herself under the row of plastic arms when she could no longer fight sleep to watch over the Lightwoods. Magnus must have been summoned for more work, as Andy's sweep of the room came up empty of her warlock.

Her head fell over her right shoulder, the cut of her teeth against her cheek almost welcomed. Alec was a shadow lurking in front of the only windows they had access to. His arms were clenched against his chest so tightly that they rippled the worn fabric of the shirt that he still hadn't changed out of. The physical exhaustion they all held from the previous day was their only opportunity to pull away from the emotional pain.

Andina's lips parted, and she could not fathom why the thoughts that wrenched her heart into pieces demanded to be spoken into existence. "You were good for him," her voice was cut with the gruff edge she always had after waking, an awful masterpiece painted onto the mourning that had anchored into her soul. Alec glanced over, his brow already pinched as he watched a dismal fondness tilt up the edge of her mouth. "I don't know why I was so mad when he told me about it."

Alec's head turned to the floor tiles as he failed to hide a wince. They did not need to clarify to know they spoke of the time Jace broke the news of wanting Alec to be his parabatai to his older sibling so many years ago. 

When Alec's eyes opened, they were already wet again. A reminiscent smile fought the frown on his lips, producing an awful grimace. A question he had asked himself many times before, he now understood better than the woman that posed it to him. His chin turned towards her, and he shared what he only knew from his own torture. "You weren't ready to let him go." He managed to avoid the crack of his voice, but it only offered force for hot tears to fall down his face again.

A breath escaped Andy, too smooth as acceptance turned her stomach cold. Even the atoms in the air seemed to know it as her crystal eyes met Alec's dark brown abyss. Neither of them would make it out of this room on their own feet if the inevitable struck them. Simon and Isabelle had quieted when they heard the older Nephilim conversing. They watched as their stare broke unnaturally, and they all huddled into themselves once more while the silence returned to haunt them.

°◊°

The eighteenth hour of waiting came and went as quickly as flesh scorched off of bones and rose into the air. A large many had succumbed to their wounds and the wind made a blackened path of ash brush past the narrow windows at the east end of that waiting room. It blocked out the high sun and darkened the room, disorienting Clary when she flinched herself awake in the late afternoon. The news that she was watching the new loss of life drift through the air, and not remnants of bodies from the battlefield, was an impossibly bitter taste to sit with. The sight weighed all of their shoulders down with more daring wishes for a sure answer to be given to them about their own injured soldier.

Visitation was sparsely offered, and when it was, only Andy was offered permission to enter for no more than fifteen minute bursts. She had accepted the chance in the morning and soaked stiff gauze pads in her tears. No matter how tightly she clung to her brother, his monitors would not change and she could not bring him back. It ached her, and she had turned down the two subsequent offers to step foot past that hall when the Silent Brothers only came with no updates on his health.