A Christmas Cocktail

Chapter 9

He had a feeling that Angel's mind was elsewhere, but he hadn't expected it to be so gone that the spider tried to hit him because he'd said his name. However, he wasn't going to be complaining any time soon, considering that the act had ended with Angel pressed against him. At that point, Husker couldn't tell if his fur was the reason he was suddenly hot, or if the closeness of the other man was to blame.

Making sure the arachnid was stable, he reluctantly let him go and took a small step back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He said as he held his hands up to show that he wasn't touching the man anymore, no matter how much he wanted to be. Angel gave him a weak smile and shook his head.

"No, you're fine. I'm the one who should be sorry." The man cringed. "I just kinda autopiloted just then. I didn't hit you, did I?" Husker shook his head and the man sighed with relief. Stepping to the side, he looked out on the city with a bit of awe. If he didn't focus on the billboards or the neon signs, the lights seemed more like a sea of stars beneath them. Sure, there were several buildings that were taller than the hotel, but none of them obstructed the view. "It's beautiful up here at night." He glanced at Angel as the spider returned to gently leaning on the railing while staring distantly out at the buildings around them. There was something about the way the glow radiated off of Angel's snow white hair that had him mesmerized.

"Yeah... beautiful." He mumbled. Angel looked over at him and smiled again, this time genuinely. Shaking it off, he looked down at his hands and turned to face the skyline again. "So... about earlier... Are you okay? I mean, for real? And not just the lie you tell everyone about being okay when you're really not okay while you try to hide behind inappropriate jokes and cheap shots." Angel cringed with a hiss at the comment and leaned against the precarious railing again.

"Yeah... I was just..." The arachnid paused for a moment and sighed. "I was thinking about what my life would be like if I didn't work for Val, that's all." He paused and shrugged. "Well, afterlife." Despite the smile he put on, Husker could hear the sorrow in the man's voice. "I don't know... I guess I just thought that my afterlife would be a little different, is all." Tilting his head, Husker thought back to when he'd first fallen into Hell. He'd been older, sure, and he would admit that his horrible habits were what took him out in the end. But had he expected this? God no! He'd expected brimstone and fire, and to be tortured physically for all eternity. You know, just like everyone had always talked about. Instead his torture was here; so close to something he wanted, all while knowing that he would never reach it the way he wanted.

"I know how that feels. When you're alive, you think that Hell is just one way and that you're ready for it at the end but...." He trailed off and Angel nodded his head.

"But then you get here and you find out it's a lot like living. Maybe that's the point; life in and of itself is the torture." Angel hung his head and sighed. "When I first died, my brother... my sister... hell, even my own Pops were still alive. I know that I killed myself, that's not a secret... well... I didn't, you know... do it on purpose." Husker cringed at the wording, but he nodded in understanding. "I got emotional and I turned to the drugs to help ease the pain. But, when they didn't help instantly, I got impatient. The one thing you're never supposed to do."

"You did more." It wasn't a question, but a statement made out of shock. What little he did know of Angel from their chats was that his father had been a mafia boss who dealt drugs. It was his family business and yet... here he was admitting he'd overdosed.

"A rookie mistake." The arachnid looked down and began toying with the hem of his dress. "I knew better. I was taught better. I still did it, though. And, of course, I didn't die immediately. Oh no, that woulda been way too easy." Angel shook his head and stared at the wall with sightless eyes. "I fell into a coma first. I guess I musta hit my head or... something when I OD'd and... I don't know. All I know is that everything went black and I would have these weird dreams, you know? Dreams about meeting people I'd never met before, or cities I'd never been to, that kinda shit. And the whole time I could hear them talking around me. Talking about my vitals, about how it was iffy if I'd ever wake up... how they should start prepping for the funeral." Husker had to look away from the man at that. He still listened, but he kept his eyes fixated on the lights below them. "I remember thinking... "That's it for me. I'll never do any of the things I wanted to do. I'll never dance again, or sing again... I'll never fall in love." Even though Husker wasn't looking at him, he heard the shallow breath from the man before the deep one to steady himself. "And then I fell in here. I was scooped up by the members of my family that were already here and I basically just fell... right back into place."