From Fake Dreams

54

"So we're all in agreement then." Rin looked at everyone sitting at the table seriously. "If Shirou appears to be on top of everything and competent to the point that he's being a jackass, he's hiding something important that is likely overwhelmingly stupid or dangerous that he shouldn't be dealing with in the first place. Or at least, on his own."

"I'm sitting right here Rin," the accused deadpanned, ignored by everyone else in the room who nodded as one.

"Um. What about Archer?" Sakura lifted a hand with some trepidation.

"What about him?"

"Isn't he um, like that all the time?"

"My point exactly."

Archer rolled his eyes, but didn't protest. He knew a lost battle when he saw one.

"Please don't compare me to that guy in any way. I'm pretty sure I made that clear to everyone already."

"You haven't been around Archer much, have you kid? Give it time. It'll sink in. Like looking at a mirror." Lancer smirked, ignoring Shirou's slowly growing irritation. "You're like that when you're pushed into a corner. Archer on the other hand only stops being an ass when he has to."

"Considering the reception I've had recently, it makes the charade surprisingly easy to pull off." Archer shrugged nonchalantly, playing along solely to piss off his younger counterpart.

"See what I mean?" Lancer snorted. "He doesn't stop."

"I fail to see how I deserve this treatment." At this point, Shirou wasn't even trying to hide his thoughts anymore. "If anyone can please explain it to me, it would be greatly appreciated."

"In hindsight, it does describe his behavior at the Clocktower. All the time in fact." Luvia playfully hummed to herself, ignoring Shirou's request.

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest," Rin deadpanned. "He bullshitted his way through half the War. It makes sense that he got practice doing it through the Tower all these years."

"This is my home. What happened to respecting the host?"

"That does not even come close to what he has accomplished." Bazett smirked, pretending to ignore Shirou's distress. "You should have seen it. He's actually run off some of the people that have tried to pick fights with him just by keeping quiet and pretending to ignore them. Most people thought that he was giving them the Barthomelloi treatment, but in reality he had no idea what the hell to say to them to make them go away in the first place. That whole scarf mask façade has saved him in more ways than he probably even knows."

Shirou's eyebrow was twitching now. "And here I thought that the reason Luvia tried to be at the Tower whenever I was around was because she was stalking me."

"Ack?!" Luvia flinched at the potentially true accusation.

Likewise, she pretended to ignore the various interested stares that she was now getting from around the table.

"Oh look, everyone heard that. What are the odds?"

"Okay everyone, I think we've all had enough fun mocking Shirou," Saber tried to placate the others.

"No. Keep it up. I want to see where this goes." Lancer laughed.

"Did I ever tell anyone about the time Fuji-nee forced Bazett-nee to go clothes shopping because she only ever packs business suits when she came to visit?" Shirou's eyes were starting to glow with a peculiar tinge of vengeance.

Judging from the peculiar shade of white the Fraga had taken, it was a story that she was not keen on reminiscing anytime soon.

Merem had trouble holding back his laughter. As someone that had long taken pleasure in pressing Shirou's buttons when presented the opportunity, he knew quite well just how vindictive and petty the boy could be when irritated.