𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚜 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝'𝚜-[𝙷𝚊𝚒𝚔𝚢𝚞𝚞]

{005}

→ Title: I Confuse Him, He Confuses Me.

→ Type: One-Shot/Fluff/Mild Angst

→ Pairing/Characters: Miya Atsumu × M!Reader. Miya Osamu & Rinataro Suna & Readers Parents Mentioned.

→ Contents/Warnings: PANIC ATTACKS, PARENTS FIGHTING, SELF-SABOTAGE, SELF HARM/NEGLECT PARENTAL NEGLECT, PERFECTIONISM, EATING DISORDERS.

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Have you ever felt that uneasy feeling that comes too often? The deep never-ending falling your stomach does, making you feel utterly nauseous? That thick feeling that fills the lungs slowly while your vision starts to blur? The feeling that most people get when something horrible is either happening or about to happen? Not panic or anxiety, something darker than those feelings. It's not paranoia either, I'm not even sure if there is a word for this dizzying feeling.

I bounce my leg faster in my seat to try and rid myself of this feeling. When would the bell ring again? How long can I sit with this feeling? I can't stand this. I'm helpless to the feelings, I always have been. I wish I could focus on what sensei is saying but my mind won't stop focusing on that stupid feeling. Do people notice me right now? Oh God can they see how fucked I am right now?

" Yes, [Y/N] Chan? "

" Bathroom, please. "

" Go ahead, make it quick. "

I resist the urge to run to the door at Sensei's words. Once the door shuts I started to jog. This feeling only gets worse when I'm not moving. Keep moving and it'll dissipate. One foot after another, not too fast not too slow. Focus on breathing, foot placement, and scenery. Don't stop until you reach the stairs, then go to the bathroom and back to the classroom. It will go away soon, just do the routine.

My steps halt once I hear another pair about to enter the hallway from an adjacent hallway. I can't let others see me doing my "weird rituals" or people will cause issues again. Annoyance quickly replaces the feeling, a startling mood swing. The culprit of this annoyance is none other than the men's volleyball hotshot; Miya Atsumu. He's headed to the bathroom as well, great.

His eyes find me automatically, I am the only person in the room so it makes sense. Even so, his stare alone feels like someone judging me. To be fair that's how I feel around everyone, but it's worse when it comes to hotshots like this jackass. They make my blood boil and scare me, an odd pair of feelings towards a group ain't it?

He tilts his head in acknowledgment of my existence. I return the favor walking towards the bathroom as well. My hands glide across my uniform, making sure everything is in place and presentable. Useless as it is, I find it comforting to be presentable. If I can present myself well I can handle my emotions better. Approval from others is nice but it's also nice to not have someone ask if I should be on meds or in a mental hospital.

Just as the bathroom was in sight the silence was broken, " [L/N]. The second-year boy with damn near perfect A's in all classes, right? "

My eyes drift up slowly to the blond boy. Why start a conversation with someone who isn't part of your class or in your social status? Does he want tutoring or something?

" You would be correct Miya sama."

" Wooo-" He lets out an obnoxious fake laugh, " I hope you take breaks, the stress would kill me if I didn't. How are you holding up? "

Huh? That's a really odd thing to say to a stranger. Hotshots are really freaking weird that's for sure.

" I maintain my health perfectly well Miya sama. "