It's the next morning and I have just woke up. It's a lot earlier than I normally do but I guess I should get up. I heard Step-douche and dad arguing last night which i guess means they have dropped their happy to each other masks. I leave my room and see Megan and Dylan are also awake. We all walk downstairs and see that everything is covered in christmas decorations. What the heck?
"It's not christmas Meg. It's the middle of April." I say to her looking at it all. There is a huge tree with an entire mountain of presents under it. Seriously, what is going on?
"Daddy must have done this!" Dylan says excitedly. Before I could reply, a sound comes from round the corner.
"Ho, ho, ho, ho! No, he didn't." A Santa dressed step-douche says walking around the corner.
"Brad?" Dylan asks as we all stare at him
"Claus is the name. Santa Claus if you please." Santa step-douche says. Oh my god I think I'm gonna puke. Dad walks up behind us and has the same weirded out look as Ido. "But this Brad you speak of called me all the way up at the North Pole. He said his children were so sad because their biological father had missed so many Christmases and birthdays and special family holidays, so he asked me to come here today so that Dusty could experience one Christmas with his kids before he leaves again. Probably for a long, long time. Ho, ho, ho!" Step-douche cheers. Oh my god. So this was all just a way at getting at dad. Pathetic. Although, the presents are already there so it would be rude of me to say not to them.
"Can we open presents?" Megan asks excitedly.
"You sure can, little girl." At this, Megan and Dylan run to the pile of presents. I sit on the arm of the armchair and watch them. "I think they're from Brad. Infact, all the presents are from Brad. Let's see if any of the presents are from Dusty. Nope. Not one present from Dusty. All from Brad." Santa Step-douche says at Dad. Dad looks around pissed.
"Hey, kids, let's not forget who got you a dog. Remember?" Dad says trying to distract us. I look around and see Tumor on the couch.
"He is assaulting Mrs Claus." I tell him.
"Hey, Tumor! Quit humping Mrs Clause!" Dad yells at him. Mom comes in with the same shocked and slightly disturbed look dad had on and walks straight to step douche.
"Okay, I am officially worried about you." Mom says to him. You and me both mother.
"Don't worry, Claus hasn't forgotten you." Step-douche says pulling out a jewlerry box out of his pocket.
"For me?" Mom says taking it and openning it. She looks at whats inside and gasps. "Oh my god, honey, it's beautiful. I love it." Mom says excitedly before dropping her smile and shutting the box. "Wait, no! No, no. It's too much." She says to him. Tumor starts barking at something around the corner causing everyone to walk in his direction.
"Oh, no, it looks like Tumor's given away Megan's big gift." Step-douche says walking around the corner. He walks back to us with a fricking pony. An actual, real life tiny pony. Holy sheep. Megan see's it and starts screaming loudly.
"A pony! A pony! A pony!" She screams jumping up and down. Step-douche also jumps up and down.
"I know, it's a pony! It's a pony Dusty!" Step-douche screams at dad. He turns to one of the pockets on the horses saddle and pulls something out. "Oh, what's this? It's tickets to tonight's NBA playoff game against Dylan's favourite team, the Los Angeles Lakers?!" He excitedly yells at Dylan who starts to jump up and down aswell.
"Oh, thanks, Brad! You're the coolest! I love you, Brad." Dylan yells wrapping his arms around him. Oh god. He is such as try hard. He suddenly turns to look at me.
"Oh, let's not forget the eldest princess in this castle." He says going behind the corner again. Oh my god he did not just call me a princess. He comes back around to us holding a Guccie bag. It's the one i've wanted for a while now.
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"Oh. That is so cool." I say taking it from him. "Thanks step-douche." I say smiling at the bag.
"Oh no. That's not the only surprise, open the bag up." He says. I look at him weirdly before undoing the zip. I look inside and there is the thing I have had on my christmas list since I was about three years old. An Australian Shepperd puppy!!
(here is a pic incase you have never been blessed to see one)
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"Oh my god!" I yell pulling the puppy out. He is so tiny and so fluffy! "I love him so much! Thanks Bra-Step-douche." I whisper so I don't scare the puppy. Even though I love that he got me a puppy, he is still a step-douche.
"You are so welcome Sophie." Step-douche says. "Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas Maron family!" He yells with his arms out.
