Sins of the Father

8 | Jake

"Andy?"

I wake up to see Charlie's face peering down at me. "Father brought us lunch," she says blankly.

I sit up. The man is setting two trays and two cups of water on the ground. The fact that I was asleep when he came down makes me feel sick—how many times has he done that? Has he watched me sleep?

He leaves without saying anything to me, and Charlie and I start eating in silence. A small part of me is glad that she's here, as disgusting as that is. She shouldn't be here. It would be good if I was still alone, but I can't help but be thankful that I'm not.

"So," I say. "You're a Girl Scout?"

She nods. "My sister was one when she was young. She bet that I won't get as many badges as she did." She grins wickedly. "But I already have."

I smile. "Good. Stick it to your sister."

"Do you have siblings?"

The smile falls, and I involuntary freeze, trapped in old memories and conversations and screaming. "I..."

She raises both eyebrows, intrigued. "Why'd you react like that?"

"No, I don't..." I clear my throat and stare at my tray. "I don't have any siblings."

"You're lying."

I keep staring at my tray and eating in silence.

"You don't have to talk about it," Charlie says reluctantly. "But I'm all you've got right now. You can talk to me. And I promise, I won't tell anyone anything."

I take a deep breath and finally meet her eyes. She watches me curiously, innocently, and I sigh.

"Jake Lawson is my half-brother," I mumble.

"Jake?" she repeats. "Isn't he your bully?"

"It's actually a little more complicated than that."

"What happened?"

I drag the spoon through the mashed potatoes, mutilating their fluffiness. "Jake's sixth months older than me. His dad..." I blink, realizing who I'm talking to. "Uh...do you know where babies come from?"

She nods.

"Right. So..." I inhale slowly and sigh. "Jake's dad cheated on his mom with my mom, except my mom had no idea that the man she was dating was married. Mrs. Lawson found out about the affair a day after she had Jake, and then she called my mom and told her about it. His dad—my dad, too—and my mom never spoke to each other again, and I never met him. He stayed with Jake's mom until Jake was six, but they were always fighting. Then he divorced her and moved away, and Jake's mom grew distant and cold."

Charlie blinks. "Uh....wow."

I laugh a little. "Yeah. Jake hates his dad, but he hates me too. The way he sees it, I'm a product of what ruined his family."

"But it wasn't your fault."

"I know." I shake my head. "I know."

I want to hate Jake the way he hates me. I want everyone else to hate him, too, to see how cruel he is...but that's the problem. He isn't cruel. He's top of the class and an absolute sweetheart to literally everyone in school but me. And no matter the names he's called me, or the things he's teased me about, he's never once made it about the fact that I was poor. He's never said a cruel word to Matt or to any of the other lower-class kids. Despite his mom's wealth, he's never acted classist.

The only thing he doesn't have is a happy family, and with his dad long gone, the only person he can be mad at is me. And despite how much I despise him for treating me the way that he does, I can't stop myself from wishing that, someday, he won't hate me so much, and maybe...maybe he'll actually want to be my brother. Even if it's something small like saying good morning when I walk into school instead of turning away.

"When we get out," Charlie says, "I'm going to put bouncy balls in Jenna's backpack, and you're going to put bouncy balls in Jake's locker."

I smile. "Sure."

I take solace in the fact that she said when we get out, and not if.