Lilith (old version)

Chapter 6

Lilith

It hurts, it hurts a lot. But I'll keep it to myself so it doesn't hurt anyone else. 

A sob wracks through my body and I fall to the ground. I can't even see Lorenzo anymore, my tears blinding my vision. I hear him curse and then there's strong, warm arms wrapped around me. I try not to flinch, I know it's not the man and it's just Lorenzo but I can't help it and I know he notices.

I don't think I can stand, but I don't have to. Lorenzo grabs me gently by my shoulders and pulls me over to a couch in what I presume is his living room. I try my best to steady my breathing but the pure relief and shockwaves of terror are forcing out fresh tears from my eyes. I try to open my mouth, to say what, I don't know. Instead I close my lips and feel him sit beside me.

"Breathe with me", I hear him say quietly but loud enough to let me hold onto the sound of his voice.

He takes a purposefully loud breath in slowly, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling. He repeats this, and after the third breath I manage to somewhat control myself. There's still tears streaming down my face but the sobs have calmed and almost stopped.

"There you go, it's okay. You're okay." He repeats.

I feel him rub circles on my back in an attempt to calm me, but it sends me into a fresh wave of panic and I freeze.

"Please don't touch me." My voice cracks and I can't help but let out another sob.

He immediately removes his hands from me and moves away slightly, giving me room to calm myself this time instead of coaching me through it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know this was your house." I say after a long silence.

"It's okay." He replies shortly. 

I don't want to tell him what happened, but I can see a mixture of curiosity and concern on his face. I see him open his mouth, and I can tell he's about to ask me what happened but I cut him off.

"I don't want to talk about it." I try and say it softly, but my voice is horse from crying and it doesn't sound right.

"Can you give me directions on how to get home, please?" I ask, "I don't know where I am" I add quietly. 

"Are you sure you can get home from here? We're pretty far from your house." I want to ask how he knows where I live, but instead I just nod my head. I don't want to go back outside, let alone back to my house where my dad is, but I desperately want to get away from Lorenzo. It's humiliating knowing he's seen me so vulnerable, not once now but twice.

Sure the first time I managed to cover myself, but I don't know how I'll be able to avoid questions if I stay here much longer. I don't think I'm physically able to answer them anyway.

"I need to get home, my parents will be worried about me." I reply. They won't, but he doesn't need to know that. Besides, the lie falls of my lips smoothly and it sounds like a genuine reason.