I'll look after you - remus lupin comfort story

The boggart

That night, I thought constantly about the conversation me and lupin had, going over it over and over in my head. I kept thinking about how I flinched and he didn't even notice. He never does that. But I'm thankful that he didn't notice or didn't acknowledge it.

I woke up suddenly. I look over to see that it was 2:30am. I tried to get back to sleep but I just couldn't. I tossed and turned until it hit 3:15am. The itch to hurt myself got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore. I got up, put on my robe and went down to the staff toilets, grabbing my blade while I go. I walked quickly to the toilet and when I got there, I closed the door and sat on the cold stone floor. I thought for a minute about lupin and how he wouldn't want me to do it, but the urge got the better of me. I rolled up my sleeve and dragged that gorgeous silver blade across my already sliced skin.
10 minutes passed and my arms were now covered in perfectly straight cuts.
I got up and went to the sink to wash off the dried and new blood. When my arms were now bright red from scrubbing them, I put some toilet roll on them.
I grabbed my blade and walked quickly back to my room.

I woke up that morning, my arms sore and slightly swollen. Today, I had to teach a class about boggarts. That means I have to be in the room with one. I'm a professor after all. It's my job to do this. I can't be scared of a silly little boggart.

It was finally time for the boggart lesson and just before I had been writing more notes on life and how I'm exhausted. I stood by the door, greeting the students as they came in one by one, just like lupin did. I walked back to my desk as the last student came in and got my stuff set up.
"Today, we are learning about boggarts and at the end you will get to face one yourself!" I said with somewhat enthusiasm. I heard footsteps behind me. It was lupin.
"And professor lupin will also be here to watch" I said to the class who were all watching me with eager eyes. (By this time I had told them about ridikilous and what to do with the boggart)
I talked for about an hour before I said, "right class, get the desks moved to the side and have your wands ready!". Everyone sprung up and started to move their desks.
"Everyone make a line!" I shouted. "Ok, daisy! Your up first! Wand at the ready!" I said as I opened the closet door. The boggart started to form. I giant spider with claws and fangs appeared before her. "R-ridikilous" Daisy said with a stutter. The boggart then turned into a spider slipping on ice with a Christmas tree on its back. Everyone burst out laughing.
One by one the students took turns in facing and defeating their boggarts, which they all did successfully. All but one. Maggie. She couldn't spit out the word so I stepped out in front of her without thinking. The boggart then turned into lupin and me, but lupin was shouting at me for cutting myself again, threatening to fire me. Then it became me slicing into my scarred skin. All the student watched with terrified looks on their innocent little faces. I started to feel dizzy and sick of the thought of the boggart. I stood there, tears welling up in my eyes and I couldn't move. Lupin jumped in front of me and said "r-ridikulous!". Hearing his voice shake hurt more than the boggart in front of me. I collapsed on the floor and started to cry.
"Everyone out now!" Shouted lupin, as all the students gathered their bags and quickly headed out the door.
I felt lupin presence above me. He then sat down beside me, stroking my head. "Shhhh it's ok darling, I'm here." He spoke softly. I sat up, my face now red with embarrassment and from crying so hard. I gave one look at lupin, he opened up his arms, and I fell into them. He caught me and gave me the most soft, comforting hug ever. The smell of old books and chocolate were familiar and brought back memories I didn't know a smell could. I sobbed even harder in his arms. We both said nothing for about what felt like a lifetime. We just hugged on the floor while he rubbed me on the back and on my head.
"It's ok darling, I'm here. I'm here."