Matheo Riddle Imagines

Just hold me pt. 1

TW: Ed, anxiety/depression, neglection?

There I sat. At a table full of people, feeling invisible. Lunch was my least favorite part of the school day. The whole time I would just sit there and watch the clock until it was over.

While my "friends" engaged in a conversation I was, as per usual, neglected to be added into, I put my air-pods in.

Seeing as they were partially noise canceling and I was blasting my music, I could no longer really hear the things around me. Though I know there was no reason too.

I chewed on my gum that had began to go through that stage where it gets hard and flavorless. But I kept chewing. I stared down at my plate, untouched.

Just looking at it made me nauseous.

12 minutes had gone by of our 30 minute lunch. Most people had already finished scarfing down there food, and were now just talking.

I decided that I couldn't stand looking at my food anymore, and I didn't want anyone to get suspicious of my food sitting in front of me.  Not that they had ever noticed or probably ever would.

I picked up my tray and began to walk over to the compost, recycle and trash bins.

Taking a deep breath, I dumped out my food and stacked my tray on the pile of them. I then slowly turned around about to head back to my table.

I looked back at my "friends". All smiling and laughing. Happy, without me. I didn't feel like sitting back at my houses table, only to be ignored by every ravenclaw sitting at it.

I decided to go to the bathroom instead.

Right before I was about to turn around from looking at my "friends" and head to the bathroom, something caught my eye. Or more accurately, someone.

Sitting at a far away at the Slytherine table, staring directly at me without shame or hesitation was Matheo Riddle. The only reason I knew of him was because of the incident he had with some kid. Apparently he punched him or banged his head against the wall or something. And oh yah, he's literally the 'he who shall not be named' son.

Everyone knew of him, but why was he looking at me? I began to feel uncomfortable holding this spontaneous eye contact, and I looked away.

I immediately turned around and started walking away. I was trying to not overthink what had just happened on my short walk to the bathroom, though it was quite difficult.

I immediately got into a stall and leaned up against the wall for support. I was so tired, physically and mentally.

I began to spiral into a state of panic, overthinking why my friends seemed to dislike me so much. But in the end I just came to the conclusion that I was simply just unlovable. I mean I don't even love me, how could anyone else?

I checked my phone to see that I had already been in the bathroom for 7 minutes. I didn't want one of the professors to come looking for me so I decided to go back to the dining hall.

I took a quick look at myself in the mirror. Tightening my oversized hoodie so it sucked around my body. Fat. I was so, so fat. How could anybody love me when all I am is fat.

A/N: I am not saying there is anything wrong with being fat, you are beautiful no matter your size/weight. You deserve love NO MATTER WHAT! <3

I sucked my stomach in as much as I could. Why couldn't I be pretty like the other girls? With an hour glass figure, eating all the calories I want and never gaining a pound.

I exhaled and frowned at the sight of my stomach. fat. Fat. FAT!

A/N: Once again, you are beautiful, even if you don't believe it.

I exited the bathroom more depressed than when I had entered. My head was down and my mind was racing. Physically I was at Hogwarts, mentally I was floating in an endless abyss of darkness.

I wasn't paying attention and of course, just my luck! Crashed into someone.

A/N: y'all I am soooo sorry but pt. 2 is coming soon. It is currently 1:00 am and I need to go to sleep, I have school at 7:00 am tmrw!! Winter break is coming up so I PROMISE I will try to be more consistent and make more of these little short stories! Thank you to anyone who read them!

Also sorry this one is so depressing, I've just had a really shitty week and needed to vent and also write a new story. Thank you for reading, seriously <3