Counting Days

Fuel for Murderous Intent

I sat out on the front porch taking in the sun. A soft breeze ran through my hair, cooling me down from the bright sun. It was a quiet day today. An occasional bird would chirp, but everything else was quiet. It was around noon, and I had spent my entire morning outside as my dad lay in the couch in the living room watching television. It's been two days since he's been home from the hospital, and he was slowly healing back to normal. He hadn't mentioned anything about that night to me or what I had said to him. Maybe he did forget. Nina and I decided that tonight was going to be the night that we killed my father. Mark has had enough time to heal, and we couldn't wait for him to get any stronger.

Ever since he's been home, I would always catch him looking at me when my back was turned to him. I also saw him looking through my room the other day. I was beginning to become paranoid. Did he suspect something? I expressed my concerns to Nina, but she brushed me off and said not to worry. I couldn't help but disagree with her. He was looking for something. I don't know what, though. Mark has, otherwise, left me alone. I still took care of the house and food, but he didn't talk nor yell at me. He ignored me for the most part. He also hasn't touched me since that night and that was more than alright to me. I was fully healed by now, even the bruises were gone. I looked normal on the outside again.

My mind drifted off to a week ago. The last time I was at Nina's house. It was the day after my dad was shot. Nina and I were sitting on that checkered blanket far from her house in the midst of the greenest of grass and wildflowers. There was a slight breeze. The sun was looking down at us from the blue sky. We had kissed. Nina was the first girl I had kissed. It felt...good. Unlike the kiss I had with that boy during the party Nina invited me to. That felt wrong but with Nina it felt right. My stomach fluttered when I recount what happened after the kiss. The heated breaths exchanged between us. Nina's hands holding my face, under my shirt, and in my pants.

A twig cracking near me made me open my eyes. I locked eyes with a deer. We stared at each other. Neither of us moved. It was normal to see deer in the forest, but never so close. This deer was about ten feet away from me. The deer looked at me once more before turning around and running off into the dense forest.

-

It was late at night. I was washing dirty plates and setting the dishes to dry from the dinner my dad and I ate an hour ago. After cleaning, I headed to my bedroom to wait out the couple hours before Nina would arrive. My dad was in his bedroom as well. The last time I checked in on him, he was sleeping after the big meal he ate half an hour ago. I would be lying if I said I wasn't doubting my choices. As the weeks passed, so did my initial anger after the beating. I was still mad but was murder the answer? He was my father. Even if he abused me, some part of me would still love him no matter what he did. I wasn't so sure if killing him was the way to go about this.

I paced around my room, wondering if I should stop this. All I had to do was message Nina. I grabbed the disposable phone Nina had bought me out from under my bed hidden under a loose paneling on the floor and began to text a message to Nina.

I'm not sure if we should continue with our plan.

I don't think this is the right answer anymore.

There are other ways to keep my dad away.

I sent all three messages one after another. I really hoped Nina saw them soon before she came over later tonight. I waited for her to answer my messages, chewing on my nails as anxiety came over me. My head shot up when I heard noise coming from my dad's room. I stood up and walked over to the door. I peeked from the door frame and watched as my dad's bedroom door swung open with tremendous force. I jumped back as it hit the wall with a bang. I didn't dare look in fear he would see me but instead listened to the stomps of his boots hit the floor. His weight shook the house. Why was he sounding so angry, especially when he was still healing from a bullet wound? A sense of dread and unease took over me.

I heard the front door slam closed and the engine of my dad's truck roared to life. I moved to the living room and watched as my dad in his truck speed away. He was headed in the direction towards Nina's house. A knot began to form in the back of my throat. I had a bad feeling. I looked at the clock hanging over the television in the living room. It was only eight at night. Nina wouldn't be coming until midnight.

A minute seemed like an hour as I counted the time my dad was away. His actions confused me. I couldn't think of anything that would occupy his time at this time of day not to mention his injuries. It must be important. I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling. The tips of my fingers throbbed with my heartbeat from all the biting and chewing I inflicted on my fingernails. They were now down to the stub and some even had dried blood from nervously nibbling on them too much.

I was beginning to drift off to sleep when I heard the familiar sound of Mark's truck not far away. I stiffened in bed and my heartbeat quickened. I grabbed my disposable phone and sent Nina a quick message before hiding it in between my bed's mattress and the spring box. I heard the truck's engine shut off and the door slam shut. The front door opened, and my dad's boots stomped into the kitchen. It was silent for a few minutes. I couldn't keep my breathing quiet. I was panting. I head my dad move again. He stomped out of the kitchen and down the hall towards my room. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my fist. My bedroom door swung open. My eyes flew open.

"You fucking bitch!" My dad roared. I screamed as he advanced towards me, and my survival instinct took over. I scrambled to my knees as he moved within arm's length of me, and I raised what I had clenched in my hand. I brought down the sharp knife down into Mark's body. He yelled out in pain. I saw a blur of movement and a blinding pain stuck me across my face. I hit the ground hard, falling out of bed and hitting the wooden floor headfirst. Time slowed down then. There was a ringing noise as my vision became blurry. I could only see the large figure of my father as he advanced towards me once again. I tried to move away, but I couldn't. My body wouldn't obey to the wishes of my mind. I felt my body receive hit after hit. Suddenly, I felt a sharp, burning pain in my stomach. I gasped as my senses came back. I first felt pain. My body was on fire, especially my stomach. I look down and a knife stuck out of my body.

The same knife I stabbed my father with just a few seconds ago. I looked up and saw my dad looking down at me. He wore a murderous expression on his face.

"Why?" I cried out. My throat hurt from the force of my screams. Tears fell down my face as he grabbed my hair and began to drag me out of my room. I didn't think I could have been more frightened, but I was proven wrong when I noticed he was dragging me towards the basement door. I screamed once again. I tried to struggle but with every movement, I was reminded of the knife still embedded into my abdomen. The pain was unbearable. Even screaming in hopes that someone would hear me hurt as my abdominal muscles contracted with every breath. I didn't want to die. Not after I've just begun to know what it's like to be a teenager. To know what it's like to even begin living.

We got to the basement door and my dad flung it open. I tried to escape once again at the sight of the stairs and pitch-black darkness awaiting me, but once again I was too weak to release myself from the grasp of my dad. I grunted as my dad took the knife out of my stomach. A weak cry followed. He tried to pull me down the stairs, but I grabbed onto the door frame and resisted. I screamed for the only person I knew could save me before I was pried off the door frame and thrown down the stairs into pitch darkness.

"Nina!"

The basement door slammed shut.