married at 16

episode 12

"Dear zahra. I'm not sure whether I will be alive when you'll read this letter but I wanted to tell you that I love you all so much and i very well want you all to be strong when I'm gone. I want you and the entire family to be united and fight your own battles together, cry together, play together and achieve things together. I wish I could have stayed a little while until all of you gain your own independence but this is what my Rabb wants from me, I will faithfully accept it. I also wanted to see my own grandchildren from you and jamal, sing for them lullabies and enjoy them a little before death over takes me. Tell jamal not to follow his ego before something is snatch away from him which will suddenly lead to lots of regret later on. Take care of the family for now you're like a mother to them. Do not forget your dignity and modesty for this world is just a test. Your salah should be your number one priority and please do not leave your younger once uninformed. Advice Abdul Hamid to continue memorising the Quran for it is hard but there's lot of benefits. Please tell samira and Amir to forgive me for not being strong enough and leaving them as young as they are. Alhamdullilah I'm going but please always remember me in your duas. Tell your aunt, Ruqqaiya that I still consider and remember our dreams. I still pray for it and I still want to fulfil the promises, I'm just afraid to break a heart while we mend ours which will be a detriment to our children's lives. If not I had wanted and wish for you and Ruqqaiya's son to get married. In order to uphold the friendship bond that we share together. A day hasn't past since I got admitted without Ruqqaiya calling or visiting at the hospital with words of encouragement every single day. She will take a day off from work just to check on me, this is all because of the love we share and the purpose of our friendship. Yasir is like a son to me and his mom is my best friend and in shaa Allah I want it to stay till jannah. Thirty years of friendship is not a mere experience, especially when a friend is always there in all odds. We struggled together, fall together and rise up together which made me realise that loving a person for the sake of Allah is the best love that a person can ever feel. I encourage you to marry Yasir not because of our dreams only but I think this will be of betterment because Yasir's parents are very generous,polite and they are practicing Muslims and I'm sure Yasir is too. All I want is for you to gain a decent and healthy life which is the purpose of my concern in your marriage. Please marry Yasir, son of my best friend. Nonetheless I'm not forcing you to do anything against your will but this is my wish from me to you.  Asalamualaikum!" I put the pen inside the diary with tears all over the paper and hide it under the pillow. Since I have that feeling that dead is on it's way, I called my husband to come and witnessed my last moments. He affirm that he would come soon so I lie down and read some adhkar before his arrival.

I never thought that leaving behind innocent children was this hard to bare. The pain that I feel can't be explained nor expressed. Dead is the destroyer of all temporal happiness. I'm not worried about what I live behind for I believe that Allah's gonna protect them, what I'm scared of is my hereafter. I've never done enough, I've never worship Allah enough and today I need his mercy the most. I know if it's only my good deeds, I will not even scent jannah nor will I see it but Allah's mercy is enough for my hopes to be fulfilled. I know it's getting late to do more but I will stick up with my adkar until my last breath.

"Habibti I saw your call, I'm sorry I didn't pick. I was driving. What's up? How are you feeling now?....you okay?....samira say hi" he walk in the admission room where I was admitted  and headed in my direction with concern.
"I...I...i'm okay Abu samira....oho-oh(coughs)....How's my babies?" I do not want to talk much so I decided to cut it short.
"You sure you're okay?" He held my hand.
"Hab......oho-oh(coughs)........indeed kullu nafsin zaa ikatul maut," my tears started dropping. His face changes, pale and broken, staring at me he started weeping. He took his right hand and attach it on my face to wipe my tears and I hold his left hand so tight that I thought we'll never be apart. I begin to cough more and more until Abu call the doctors. I told him to leave me with the doctors and call the kids so that I can see them for the last time but he couldn't get what I was saying. So I managed to dail the number and put it on speaker. He took the phone and informed jamal. Jamal ringoff when he realised that his dad was crying.

Yasir's POV

We were sitting at the veranda listening to Islamic lectures when jamal's phone rings. He picks it and distance himself a little bit away from us. He talk for some seconds or so and a tear dropped from his eyes.
"Bro what's up with that face?" I asked with concern and khalid did thesame. We seriously don't understand what was happening so we needed to ask.
"My mom is dying," he said as if he was out of words.
"Naa man you kidding right," I want to believe that he was pranking us.
"Yeah he is, he's probably pranking," khalid added when tears started rolling on his cheek. He hugged jamal and gave him words of encouragement. I did the same too but jamal wasn't even answering. The only thing he said was 'what am I suppose to tell samira and Amir' and he went for zahra. We followed him and by the time we entered the leaving room zahra was already crying. The kids don't really understand what was happening but hamid did. He was sitting at the parlour quite, pale and broken, I even feel sympathy for him. A pain that is not expressed is the hardest to bare. After some minutes, zahra packed all necessary materials and we all headed to the hospital. I don't know the reason behind this but I feel for zahra more than anyone else. She now has to act like their mom and all that. It's super hard to be honest.

We had a few minutes ride and we reached at the hospital after one o'clock. We leave the Amir's to enter and check on their mom. We stayed outside for almost one hour, it was time for zuhr prayer so we all left for the masjid including the Amir's except zahra's father. He prayed at the hospital in order to look after his wife. We all prayed and headed back to the hospital, Immediately we entered, we found my mom sitting on the hospital bench bending her head. I rushed straight to her and ask but there was no response from her side. My heart started aching already and my hand started shaking.

"Aunt Ruqqaiya....," jamal walk slowly towards us.
"Where's my mom?.....is she.....is she.....dead?" He asked knowing the answer already. Hearing that, zahra back off the kids to the car. Khalid said he was gonna take zahra's place and assist so that zahra can join jamal so he went after her.
"Tell me aunt.....tell me....is my mom gone, I mean....gone for good, tell me please," he asked when zahra enters.
"My best friend is gone my child.....she..she is rushed in the dead house right now....your father and my husband went, for me, I can't bare it....I can't...I can't see my halima dead naa," she shook her head crying profusely though she was wearing niqab but all of it got wet with tears. Jamal and others leave to the dead house and I stayed with my mom at the hospital for some time.

I opened the door of the room she was admitted in and all I could see was an empty bed with a book place beside the pillow. I was so curious to know because I didn't know who owns it exactly since the whole room was packed by the nurse already. I went for the book and open it to check the name but I couldn't find it at the first page so I began to search on every single page until I bumped Into my name somewhere. I hold the book properly and sit on the bed to scan it.

"Dear zahra.........," I read. I read everything that was written down by zahra's mom and later showed it to my mom to confirm it. My mom sat back and started reading.
"Do you wish for this mom," I asked while she was busy reading.
"But you never mention anything like this mom," I said truthfully being as polite and calm as possible. She still didn't respond. I sat there in confusion waiting for her to finish the letter.
"Are you ready for this Yasir,"she asked.
"Ready for what mom," I asked though I know what she was saying.
"Mom i'm confused so confused right now....from aunt halima's dead to marriage, mom it's too much....I....I don't know what to say mom," I put both of my hands on my face to wipe out the unending confusion.
"Yasir ibn ahmad deen, I said are you ready for this," she asked for the second time not joking at all. I looked at her for a moment and tears started dropping on my cheeks.
"If that's what you want," I answered putting my hand inside my pocket.
"Yes this is and will always be my wish in shaa Allah but I want you to do this on your own yasir.......open your eyes and see my son.....I want you to do this because you want to, not for me....I need no blame game over this issue so tell me......do you desire to marry zahra sometime later?" She said everything in one breath and wait for my answer with full concern.
"I....I.....I," I begin to stutter all of a sudden.

Please
Vote
Comment
And enjoy 😉

Written✏ by Haddy Nyang (a.k.a khaddija uthman)