what the fuck is wrong with me?

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Lately I've been staying in my room longer and not coming out unless I need some water or need to use the bathroom then I go back in my room.. My "friends" haven't been texting me lately I know Christmas is tomorrow
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But they haven't been talking to me for 4 months and they are in my class also. I have tons of cuts on me since I have to pick up pine cones (yes I have a lot of pine trees in my backyard and frontyard) and my cats get into fights all of the time so I try to make them stop fighting and j get scratched.
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I've been VERY tired lately and sleep doesn't help. My mom is talking shit about my dad. My dad didn't do anything wrong AT ALL I don't understand why my mom hates him so much.
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My birthday is in two days and I don't feel like I'm 14 I fell like nothing I can't figure out what I am.. I'm just to caught up in my traumatic past I don't think about my future and stuff.
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My girlfriend is the only one that cares about me. My other ex's were the reason why I'm so confused on who/what I am. I turned into someone/something that I didn't want to.
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People don't understand what I've gone through and they all think I'm faking and I'm not you're just on the other side of my phone this is the internet you mostly don't know any of you're friends irl they are a internet friend.
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So how about you keep you're mouth shut?! You don't know what I've been through you weren't there!

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