Asperity

4

"I'm really sorry for ruining this date." even though I didn't want this, I still felt bad--he looked so happy earlier and now there was nothing but disappointment on his face.

"What're you sorry for?"

"I... Well, I ruined it. If it wasn't for me then you would still be happy inside that cafe so much. Why me, sir? Why not just Betty... or Cornelia... or—"

"Is it a crime that you stand out from everyone else in my eyes?"

I was taken aback by what he said. I had to check if my heart was still beating for a second.

"You're different from them, Marjorie. There's something about you that... you may not remember anymore—but it's inside my head so clearly, I remember it all too well."

What... the fuck?

As far as I know, I never knew him outside the office. This is actually the first time I was with him outside the company's gates. Wala naman akong nagawang mabuti sa kaniya para maging ganito siya saakin.

At least, that's what I know.

"We're outside work, call me August—I dislike the professionalism." I nodded my head before pursing my lips. I was confused. But I shrugged it off because thinking wouldn't do anything.

We're just walking around town when he grabbed my hand and placed it in his pockets. I was stunned at first, but then I realized that he was just concerned because I kept blowing on it.

It was so cold, thank god I had my scarf at least.

It was quiet between us, but it didn't feel awkward.

We kept walking until it we reached my house, that was a very chill experience.

"Bye! Thanks... for today." I waved.

Maybe I enjoyed today, maybe not. I can't really tell. It's a mixture of feelings.

Before going to bed, I kept thinking about what happened earlier. What if she never came? What would he have done to me? Would he touch me until I give him what he wants?

Would he... get my number and text me every day? And then... he'd always know where I am and make me do everything he wants...

Everything that happened in that cafe reminded me of my past. My dark past.

To the Marjorie that I lost, I am sincerely sorry.

I still get nightmares 'til this day. Of how badly I got treated. Of how I didn't even do anything to save myself from the deep depth of darkness.

He told me to wear a jacket because I was wearing something revealing.

He told me it wouldn't hurt.

He told me this is what couples do.

But he told me he loves me.

Does he?

He was also a liar... for making me think everything we did was okay.

I was seventeen when he first touched me.

He was twenty-four.