I've Been Waiting All Along (Book 2 - Rock Canyon Series)

Chapter 3 - Tyrell (He/Him/His)

Chapter 3 – Tyrell (He/Him/His)

I smashed the button on my alarm clock in frustration. Large green numbers glowered 3:46 in return. I rolled on my back and sighed. This was the fifth morning in a row that I'd woken up around this cruel time. It was also the fifth day since I'd first hung out with Charlotte.

We'd been together every day since then, already falling into a routine. Each day started with texting. She'd begin by sending me an inspirational quote, which I learned yesterday came from a little flip calendar her mom had given her for Christmas. Every morning for the past six months she'd wake up and grab it off her nightstand as soon as she was awake. And now she was sharing that moment with me.

The quote convo would eventually lead into sharing pics of the day's clothes laid out on our beds. I noted with joy that every day she was creeping toward a more androgynous style. Like yesterday, for example, she wore the athletic shorts we bought together with a simple black t-shirt. I was proud of her for doing her thing. Even though there was less skin involved, she was somehow even hotter when she expressed herself the way she wanted. I could get behind that... not that it mattered.

When we got to school, we'd banter in the hallways with Maddie, Kellan and a few other kids I didn't really know from the LGBTQ club. They were friendly and cool but I was just too busy talking to Charlotte to really connect with anybody else.

I'd see her at lunch next, where we ate together at a big table with a mix of football, theatre, and queer kids. It was like the giant gathering you'd expect to see after the credits roll on a high school movie or a government funded bullying film–everyone co-existing happily ever after. For realism purposes, some of the football team still kept to themselves on the other side of the cafeteria, but I thought they were assholes anyway. The decent guys had come around after Kellan and Maddie officially became a thing.

But whatever, the important part is that I sat next to Charlotte at lunch. It was both an immense pleasure and a real challenge, as I tried not to die every time her leg grazed mine, which was often at our packed table.

I think by yesterday we'd discussed and catalogued every pretty girl in the school. Char thought half of them were possibly pan or gay, but Maddie kept shooting her down, saying her gaydar was malfunctioning.

When she would gush about somebody, saying things like she wished she had so-and-so's calves, or eyebrows, or whatever else, I had to bite my tongue because, for real, no one was holding a candle to Charlotte. But she wanted something different from her body and I tried to respect that.

After school, I walked her to theatre practice even though it made me a few minutes late to football. It was worth it. It was the one time a day that I was physically alone with her. It was less than five minutes, but I tried to cram in as much as I could. I insisted upon carrying her books because she was more expressive with her hands when she talked. She'd say something and grab my shoulder or arm, and I would feel the sensation for the rest of the night.

It's funny–you don't really consider what it feels like when someone touches you until meet the person that makes you realize that life is worth living. Then the lightest contact redlines your heart.

Sometimes we texted at night and sometimes we didn't. The nights we didn't killed me in ways that I'm ashamed to admit. I had never sat around waiting for a girl to text me. And now my phone lives in my hand, waiting to see three little smiling dots, telling me that she was about to make me happy.

I spent every night sitting on my bed, leaned up against the wall, for who knows how long, trying to convince myself that she was never going to be interested in me. It seemed impossible to accept.