Athiest Heart
In the middle of April, somewhere in the province of Cebu, in a hospital room filled with crying babies, a cute baby boy was born. The cry of the child had brought relief to the mother's eyes while holding her tiny baby. "What sparkling eyes my baby has; isn't he cute, my love?" she mumbled as she watched her husband, whose eyes were also filled with awe at the tiny creature his beloved wife was holding. He can't believe that, finally! He has now seen his heir. "Yes, my love, our boy was as handsome as me!" he said with eyes full of hope and a smile full of joy. "See those features?" "Who would dare think twice? that he's not my son! "Hahaha!" he shouted in joy as he caressed his wife's head, thankful that it was a safe delivery.
Sixteen years later, the boy had grown into a fine young man. He studies at a public school located in one of the barangays of Cebu City. His name is Caleb Fuentez, a biblical name that means "whole heart." Born into a Christian family, it was given to him as a symbol that he was a product of love, and at the same time, his name will remind him of their family values: no matter what happens, always give everything your whole heart. He is now a senior high school student and growing as an academic achiever; his mother was so proud of him. "You know, my child, your father and I have never wished for more when you came into our lives," her mother told him one day as they sat on the veranda, sipping their afternoon tea, adding, "You are one of the greatest gifts God has given, and we are so proud of how you became such a good boy." Caleb became a man of faith, and as a sacristan in their chapel, he always attended the Sunday mass. He was also a die-hard devotee of the Santo Niño; he was a man full of honor and dignity. He is always being praised by many because of his achievements. Caleb could no longer wish for anything. He's content with what he has right now.
But who would have guessed that in those days when everything is going as planned, a disastrous event would test them? They were happily celebrating the Christmas Noche Buena, a typical family gathering that is their family tradition, in celebration of the birth of Jesus. Caleb is so happy chatting with his cousins and enjoying the night when suddenly a fearful shout is heard: "Ahhhh!" His smile is now filled with fear; that was a horrifying shout! He told himself that. He ran to where it came from, and there... He witnessed such a horrific scene that it caused him to kneel on the floor, and there, lying in their kitchen, was his unconscious father. "Please wake up, my love!" his mother cried, clutching his father's head. Caleb cannot believe what he has witnessed in front of him. He can't move no matter what he does; internally, he's shouting to himself to go near where his father is lying, yet he can't say, "Run! You idiot!" It seems that those words cannot come out of his mouth. A few minutes passed, and that's when he muttered in a low, breaking voice, "F-father."
"It was a myocardial infarction or heart attack that caused him to collapse." "Mrs. Fuentez, I am sorry to deliver this news to you, but your husband's condition is getting worse every day." "What we can only do is pray and hope that he will be okay sooner," the doctor said to his mother while checking a whiteboard with all of the records of his father's condition. While hearing this news, Caleb saw how her mother's eyes became hopeless while watching his father in the hospital bed. There's only one thing that he can do, and that is to pray. Caleb then forwarded straight to the hospital's mini chapel: "Lord, I know I've been a great devotee to you. Please, Santo Niño, I beg you, spare my father's life. He mumbled softly while tears fell slowly down his cheeks. Caleb then muttered, "I offer you my life and devotion, Lord; please help my father so my mother will not be worried anymore," he continued. "In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen." A few minutes after offering his prayers, he stood up and went back to the room where his father was confined. But what he witnessed brought horror to him. Her mother was crying out in despair beside his lying father. "Ack, my love!" His mother sobbed. While holding his father's hand, his mother shook it, repeatedly uttering his beloved's name, and that's when Caleb realized his father was no longer breathing. Tears are slowly running down his cheek. He began to mumble, "Father?" It was an unbelievable question, "Why?" Caleb's emotions are now a mix of distress and fear... He began to cry aloud, shouting his father's name: "Pa, please." "Please... don't leave us," he stuttered, slowly caressing his father's face as he kneeled, holding his father's other hand. Caleb cannot believe what has happened... He can't believe he can no longer witness his father's smile.
A few weeks after his father died, the Fuentez residence is no longer the same, and Mrs. Fuentez, who was once a jolly person, now seems to be different. Her sparkling eyes are now showing a blunt expression as she stares at the window, looking afar into nothingness. Outside, his mother became a dead person... On the other hand, Caleb, who was once a lively person, seems to have also changed. He now became quieter in school and became introverted. He no longer socializes with his other classmates... He became distant from other people... He is no longer the Caleb that he used to be. "Caleb, are you okay?" his classmate once asked him during their noon break; however, they only got a nod as a response, and he walked out of the classroom.
One Friday afternoon, while Caleb was walking on his way home, he suddenly felt a disturbing feeling, something that he couldn't explain as if something bad would happen. The sensation becomes more intense when he is close to his home... He was worried that something had happened, and he was worried about what it was. Fearing what would happen, he ran straight to their door. At first, it was an eerie atmosphere, and he felt relieved at the scene in the living room, but then he felt worried. "Where's Mom?" he muttered to himself. He then looked above the staircase, where his parent's room is located; it is slightly opened. As he climbed toward the floor, his heart started to beat rapidly. Slowly reaching the slightly opened door, he held the knob and slowly opened it, and it was then that his world began to crumble.
On his parent's bed, his mother was covered in blood; the white sheets had turned into a smear of red stain from her hand, which was now filled with more blood... and a long cut from a knife he had seen on the floor. Caleb, who was taken aback by the horrific scene in front of him, became as hard as a rock—he can't move or speak... "M-mama," he says quietly. Ma!" he exclaimed, realizing he was not in a dream. He ran toward his unconscious mother, checking her pulse and heartbeat. The only thing he heard was slow, faint beats; adrenaline had now filled his system; his blood was boiling with fear and angst at being too late to realize what was happening; his soul was trying to come out and help him as he carried his unconscious mother. He was running while crying and shouting for help. "M-mama!! "Please don't leave me... please don't let go... don't let go." He mumbled in his mother's face while running down the stairs: "It won't matter if he breaks something; his mind is now filled with despair, hoping that he can still save his mother."
"I am sorry, Caleb. " "We've tried our best, but we can't save her anymore." The doctor patted his shoulder as he uttered those words. "She lost too much blood," the doctor added. Caleb cannot believe what he has witnessed. His mother is no longer alive—not even a month after his father's death—and he feels hopeless and tired. He doesn't know what to do... Suddenly, he started to walk away from the room—away from his lifeless mother. He walked straight towards the mini chapel. He slowly walked toward the aisle where the crucified Jesus was pinned. " W-why?" He asked, facing the altar... "My Lord, my Lord—why have you forsaken me?" He continued as those rapid tears now flowed down his cheeks. "Why!" feeling the angst in him, he suddenly shouted, "Why did you do this?" I never wronged you, my Lord! I've dedicated my life to you! "But why?!" he shouted while pointing at the altar. He then started to kneel and mumbled to himself, "I thought you loved those who loved you! "Devoted to you! But why? "I never did anything wrong against you, My Lord," he murmured, and then exclaimed, "I thought you were real, but you were not!" F**k you! Lord, f**k you! "It is my biggest mistake to believe in you!" "You are a worthless creator or god, whoever you are, and you don't deserve my loyalty!" he shouted as he left the mini chapel, wiping his tears. Caleb, the loyal and dignified man with a genuine heart, became hopeless after that, filled with loathing and hatred for God; he had the heart of a despondent man, a man with an atheist heart.
To be continued...
