Chapter Nine

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I sat on the porch smoking a joint, my mind was so clouded with everything that happened the other night

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I sat on the porch smoking a joint, my mind was so clouded with everything that happened the other night.

Everyone but me & Cheryl left, Jackson isn't returning any of my phone calls neither is Brittany which I can't blame either one of them.

"Hey" Cheryl said coming out side with two cups of tea in her hand.

"Hi" I said wiping my face.

"How are you?" She asked sitting next to me handing me the mug.

"Not good" I said looking down sipping on the drink.

"Well sweetie I have to be honest with you, you kind of bought it on yourself."

"Gee thanks" I said sarcastically.

"No Tee listen to me, who do you love?"

"I love both of them" I said truthfully

"But who are you in love with?"

I thought about it long & hard knowing who I wanted.

"Brittany" I said confidently

"Well what are you going to tell Jackson?"

"I don't know but he deserves the truth, they both do."

She touched my arm giving me a small smile.

"Was Brittany right about you & Karen?" I asked

"Yeah" She nodded.

"Why don't you two just get back together?" I questioned

"Because she had a hard time when we first started dating & with how things ended between us she didn't want that happening again so we just have sex from time to time."

"You love her?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Always have & always will" She said smiling

"Then go after her"

"Maybe you should be taking your own advice" She said causing me to look at her with a sympathetic look.

The next day we headed back home & honestly I hated having to deal with reality of what I did to the people that I care about most.

Once I arrived back home, I nervously walked inside hearing nothing but someone cutting the grass, I laid my stuff down & walked toward the backyard to see Jackson cutting the grass with his AirPods in his ears.

He stopped once he saw me but quickly went back to cutting the grass ignoring me.

I sighed going upstairs & took a shower then walked in the bedroom & packed my stuff knowing I couldn't stay here any longer.

"Where you going?" I heard Jackson asked from behind me.

I turned to see he was all clean he must have used the shower in the guest bathroom.

"Umm I am going to stay with Cheryl for a while until I find my own place." I said

"Look Tiana I dont know what happened before but I know I still love you." 

I sighed,  "Jackson I love you too but I am in love with Brittany"

He scoffed, "wow I can't believe the woman I wanted to marry is in love with another woman" He chuckled. 

"Does your father know?" He asked & I quickly shook my head no .

"Did you ever want to be with me?"

"Yes of course I did, things just didn't work out the way I planned."

"What does she have that I don't?" He questioned

"Jackson please don't make me answer that." I said. 

"You at least owe me that Tiana tell me"

"Honestly Jackson she has my heart, Always has ever since I met her that day in school."

"So what was I just your cover?"

"No I cared about you but I couldn't tell anyone who I was they wouldn't have understood"

He shook his head as tears threaten to leave my eyes.

"Jackson listen I am so sorry but I can't continue to live this lie anymore you are the most wonderful person I ever met but Brittany is who I want to be with."

"That explains everything, the way she acts when we are around, the way she looks at you I mean you had me around her all this time & you never said anything."

"I am sorry Jackson" I said & grabbed my bags.

I walked him & he moved back not wanting to hug me.

"Naw man you foul for that, I wanted to marry you Tiana, Have kids with you & live well but no you want to be with some average ass woman, you two deserve each other." He said.

I nodded knowing he did mean what he said, "Alright, Goodbye Jackson."

I started to walk out the room but I stopped once I looked down at my ring finger.

I slid the ring off my finger & handed it too him & we locked eyes, "Goodbye" I said again walking out the house & out the mans live that I called the love of my life.

"This is Brittany I can't get to the phone right now, leave your name & number at the beep."

I waited for the beep, "Brittany it's me again, Baby I am sorry for everything please call me back we need to talk about this"

I hung up laying my head against my headboard, I knew it wasn't going to be easy to get her back but I would do anything to have my love back in my life.

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