festival of lights : stozier

4

"stanley! good morning darling, i've made some applesauce donuts, if you'd like to have a snack. did you sleep well?" stanley was greeted by maggie as he walked into the kitchen sleepily. he looked over to the counter, where michael was munching on a few himself. he gave michael a small wave.

"stan, you do not understand how good these are," michael said through a mouthful of food, maggie reaching over to ruffle his hair.

"good morning, i did, thank you," stanley said, ever politely, as he reached for a plate. richie's uncles were sitting around a table, having cups of coffee and talking kindly. stanley took a few donuts, popping one in his mouth and placing his plate next to michael, reaching next for a mug and the coffee machine.

"is richie awake yet?" michael asked, sipping a glass of milk. stanley shook his head gently, watching michael adjust his hair.

"no, he's still sleeping," and he had been when stanley had gotten up, wrapped in the blanket like a burrito and curled up. stanley had tucked him in a little tighter, refilling his glass of water for him before leaving.

richie had mumbled in his sleep, "mmh, sta-an," and stanley had smiled.

"always a night owl, that boy. are you a night owl, too, stan?" maggie asked gently, turning from her frying pan to the counter next to richie. stanley, with a donut stuffed in his cheek, mumbled something incomprehensible.

once he had finished chewing, he answered, "no, i'm actually a morning bird. he's slowly ruining me though. i swear, every day i find something else i do that i picked up off of richie." stanley held his mug in his hands for warmth, his nose running from spending last night outside. he sniffled, thinking about how he never used to drink coffee until richie made him try it.

"that's cute. i'm so jealous of the two of you, you know." another voice appeared, and stanley turned his head to see maria, leaning against a wall like she'd just woke up. she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and smiled at stanley. "i thought for a while, you know, that richie might not ever actually come home with a boyfriend," maria began, reaching for a glass herself. she squeezed around maggie, maggie giving her a gentle pat on the shoulder. "but he did! and we're all very proud."

"she did used to make fun of richie for his taste in partners," michael added, "not like she ever had a nice boyfriend," he teased, maria shoving him. he nearly fell off the seat, nudging his glass of milk and spilling a drop onto the counter.

"that's not true! i liked bryce," maggie said, flipping a latke on the pan. michael exaggerated a yawn and stanley couldn't wipe the smile on his face.

"mags, bryce was so boring, i broke up with him because he had no personality." maria took the seat next to stanley, and stan popped another donut in his mouth. maggie laughed gently, a smile on her face as she turned the pan off.

"oh and god forbid we even think about lucas," michael groaned, maria reaching past stanley to smack michael over the head.

"michael! we haven't even done the morning prayers yet," maggie ostracized him, though her tone was still kind. stanley could feel a lump in his throat, like he was going to cry.

"morning, family," richie appeared, hugging his mom from behind as he stole a latke off of the plate next to her. his mother turned around, leaning against the oven to hug him back.

"richie, who would you say was maria's worst boyfriend?" michael asked, getting up to wash his plate. he left the silverware on the counter, still dirty, and stanley sort of mindlessly handed it to him when he reached out a hand from the sink.

"oh, easy. jeremiah!" richie answered, walking over and leaning on stanley's shoulder, draping his arms over stanley's chest. maria yelped and michael laughed heartily.

stanley turned to maria, then to michael as the laughing continued.

"the mormon! holy shit i forgot about the mormon!" michael was nearly crying laughing, his hands soaking in the sink as he washed his plate.

"michael, please," maggie asked gently, michael uttering a sorry as he put the plate onto the drying rack.

stanley's eyes were now watering, and he removed richie's arms from around his neck. he pushed himself away, grabbing the mug as richie stole michael's seat.

"um, i'll just be back in a second," stanley excused himself, keeping the mug in his hands as he disappeared out the front door. wearing only a short sleeve t-shirt, and the boots he'd slipped on, he immediately began to rub his arm with his free hand, holding his warm mug to his cheek. he walked stiffly a little further from the front of the house, to lean against a lamppost. he was out of sight of the windows now.

the snow, coating up to his knees, froze his feet immediately, goosebumps raising on the back of his neck and his arms. he kept the coffee in front of his face, the steam raising up to warm his nose.

suddenly, the tears began to fall, stanley stifling a whine as they rolled down his cheeks. he wiped his hands violently, his cheeks stinging as they dried. keeping the mug in his hand, he pulled a lighter out of his back pocket, placing it in his mouth as he fumbled for a cigarette.

"fuck," he mumbled, switching the lighter for the cigarette placed in his mouth as he flicked it. the cold was getting to him now, but he couldn't go back inside, not like this. he lit the end of the cigarette, shoving the lighter quickly back in his pocket as he took the cigarette out from his mouth to let out an exhale.

he couldn't stop crying, tears seeping into his mouth as he gripped the cup with ferocity.

"stupid, fuckin-" stanley was still mumbling between the cig in his mouth, steam exiting his mouth as well as smoke.

"um, we're gonna do the hallel now, so uh, you know." richie's voice echoed from the front door, and stanley didn't know how long he'd been standing there, watching stan smoke.

"oh, shit, okay, i'm comin—" stanley put out the cigarette, not that there was much of it left and stomped it into part of the snow, taking large steps to get back to richie. he wiped his face of any trace of tears as he did so, rubbing his eyes with his pointer finger's knuckle.

"are you okay?" richie asked gently, helping stanley get into the entrance while he shuffled off his boots. richie dusted off stanley's frozen hair, and brushed off snow from his back.

"what? yeah, i'm fine. i just needed a little fresh air." stanley fumbled with his fingers as the two walked back into the main room, most of the family gathered together. michael waved the two over, and they wandered over to join them.

"okay, well if you need more fresh air, or a... uh... thanksgiving walk, if you know what i mean, let me know." richie slung an arm around stanley as they sat down. stanley snorted and pushed richie off of him.

"can i come?" michael added, richie flicking him in the forehead. michael took that as a yes.