Averie's Journal

I Have a Huge Black Dog Named Depression

  I have a pet; a huge black dog. He has always been with me since I was in grade school.

  He was a stray puppy I met during fifth grade while I was trying to run away from my parents' expectations; from my classmates' constant bullying; from my family's disappointments; and from my teacher's comparison between me and my other classmates.

  He was in there lying down in the middle of the street. As if waiting for death himself to come and pick him up.  He was so small and weak that he couldn't get up on his feet; but as soon as he saw me, he began jumping around waging his tail. He made me happy so I decided keep him.

  I kept him in the abandoned house just a few blocks away from ours. Because my parents wouldn't let me keep him, saying he was too filthy and that I may not be able to take care of him properly.

  Everyday, I would come and visit to feed and play with him. I would always go straight to that house after school, and would always stay there until the sun sets. Spending time with him eases the loneliness I feel.

  He listens to everything I tell him, just like a human- perhaps much better than any person I know. And he never lets me feel alone. And because of that, he became my best friend.

  One day, when I was already in high school, he decided to follow me back into my house.

  I was sure my parents wouldn't approve it, so I tried to send him away. But he just won't listen. He insisted on coming along so I just let him follow me.

  I was getting myself ready for my parents' reaction after seeing him. But their reactions surprised me.
They didn't seem to notice— actually they didn't care.
  And so I started keeping the dog with me.

   He started  following me everywhere I go. Even at my school, where no pets should be allowed.
  He would sit in my classroom; chewing on some notes and shoes; and even sleeping on top of our desks. Yet no one noticed him. No one realized I was bringing a huge black dog with me— no one cares.

  As I grew up, he also started getting bigger and bigger, until he is twice my size.

  He would still keep on following me even after I graduated from college, and started working.

  He was always following me like a shadow. Never leaving my side.
  He was my only best friend. The only one who remained true to the promise "I will never, ever leave you."
  He was the only one who stayed with me whenever I feel alone, and when things go from bad to worst.

  He was there when I tried to slit my own throat, or when I cut my own wrist.
  He was there when I tried to hang myself on a tree, or when I tried to drown myself on the tub.
  He was there when I emptied a whole bottle of pills into my mouth.
  He was there watching me as I tried to destroy myself from the outside just to kill the beast that was within.
  He was just there silently watching over me.

  Now my dog is so much bigger than me. I could literally ride on his back.
  He is the dog that a lot of people should've noticed due to his huge size.
  But no one noticed him. No once else could see him except for me.
  And even if some people did see him, they never paid any attention.

  To some, he may be just a mere giant black dog. But for me, he is more than that.
  He is my only best friend and my only family;
  The only one I could lean on; The only one I could run to.
  He is the only one that makes the darkness bearable.

  I have a huge black Dog, and his name was Depression.

               ||       E N D       ||

— Averie L。🍂

;please don't claim my posts.
;pleasd do not repost without the proper credits.
;PLAGIARISM IS NOT JUST A CRIME. IT IS ALSO A SIN.
;this is a work of fiction. any similarities to names of people, whether living or dead, are coincidental.
;open for criticism.