City of Fire and Ink

Noodle Night: A Conspiracy

I'd been coming to Rumi Park for picnics since I was barely old enough to walk. I wasn't exactly in the picnicking mood, considering the fact that I came from threatening someones life unironically, but Harabeoji would rise from the dead if I skipped it. Probably so would Omma. It had been on the family calendar for months, so I had no excuse not to go. 

Instead of losing my shit and showing up covered in blood, I did the sensible thing. I went for a run, took a shower and cried there. In all the movies, the heroine stares at the wall seeing her life  flash before her eyes and sad music plays in the background. Mine went something like that, if you add in a bit of ugly crying. Ok, a lot of ugly crying.

The day felt too jarring. I started it waking up with Inez and then I almost killed someone. I told a teenage girl that I would kill her girlfriend if she didn't tell me what I wanted. And if not for Orion, Rowan, and Aisha, I would have had to go through with it. 

I got lucky. I never actually had to lay a hand on her. Rowan did the physical work, all I had to do was ask the questions. Tori would have some bad bruising, but nothing life threatening. And Ezra, her lover, was still alive. I made the call myself, and had to watch Tori scream as Ezra was threatened within an inch of their life. But we got the information. 

After Maisie, Emery, and Owen left, Ayofemi told us that he didn't actually use the unfinished cure. I almost didn't believe him. I knew that Ayofemi's line was hurting children, but Tori's screams sounded real. Turns out he gave her quicksilver, a nerve enhancer. It's painful, but in small doses like that in someone as healthy as Tori, it won't leave any lasting damage. Rowan was really angry when he said that- he started yelling at Ayofemi about how what is the point of saying that when you just find a way to hurt her a different way?

I don't think Rowan and Ayofemi like each other even though they're two sides of the same coin. They have the same line too. Rowan is flat out who he is, no apologies and that makes him seem more brutal than he actually is, but I think that makes him more trustworthy. Once he trusts you, he has your back forever. Ayofemi on the other hand is very upfront, but he's defensive. But they're both stubborn, which is probably why they don't like each other. I don't know what Ayofemi's deal is, but I don't know why he's so defensive. Aisha wouldn't tell me. She might trust me, but Ayofemi doesn't and even if she knew, telling me means we'd lose him. So I'll let him keep his secret. But at least we got the information we needed. 

The key to the vaccine is the yeonghon. It turns out that a small concentration of the lethal flower is enough to kill the overworked cells infected by Tigris. It's like the saying, two wrongs don't make a right. Or in this case they do. The best way to kill evil is with more evil. Poison poisons the poison. Murder kills the murderers. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself so that I feel less guilty. 

When I started this, unsure and scared, I never wanted to be like Dominic. I swore up and down that I would still be good, that I would make Appa and Omma proud of me. But what does that even mean? Is good the person who seeks revenge or the person who stays out of it all together? I used to think it was the latter, but now, I'd rather be the person who does something instead of hiding behind a mask. I gained nothing from sitting back and letting the Lourdes tear apart my family. They didn't care about good when they killed Harabeoji. I didn't care about good when I killed Carys. If I cared about good, Inez would probably be dead right now, Kayla close behind. 

Appa and Omma might not like what I'm doing, but I know they'll understand. Appa will take longer, but Omma will help him come around. Everything I'm doing is for them. It always has been. I will gladly become the monster if it means that they get to live their lives in safety instead of fear. And I don't feel guilty for that. I wish I didn't have to lie and cheat and kill my way up to the top. But that's the game the Lourdes have set up, and the only way to beat them is to play the game. I entered as a pawn, and I plan on leaving as a queen.