My Little Love

Give it Time

Elliot and I get back to the station in complete silence and go back to our desks.

"We need to try and get access to the cameras that surround the restaurant. You know they're on camera somewhere. There's gotta be some kind of traffic cameras or security cameras on the surrounding buildings that might have a view of the alley." I click the pen on my desk.

"Yeah while we're grasping for straws why don't we just ask the Jane Doe herself who put her there."

"Okay Elliot, I'm just trying to think of anything that can help us. If you don't want to help solve this case then just say that and I'll find someone to close it with me. I'm doing my best and I know that you're working through a lot right now, but that does not mean that you can just take it out on me and expect me to go along with it." I throw the pen down on my desk getting up so forcefully I almost knock my chair over. I storm out of the squad room slamming the door behind me.

I go into an empty interrogation room and close the door. I push my hair back out of my face and rest my hands on top of my head taking a deep breath trying to halt the rising anger I feel towards Elliot right now. I know that he isn't the only one to blame, but I didn't ask for this. He shows up to my apartment confessing his feelings and then tells me it wasn't right but it wasn't a mistake. What am I supposed to do? I can't do anything. I'm stuck between letting myself fall in love with another woman's husband and the father of four children or ignoring my feelings and pretending that there's nothing there when now I know there is. I might never be the most important person in his life, but he's always been the most important in mine. I kick the chair knocking it over and not bothering to pick it up leaving the interrogation room and heading to the bunk room. I lay down on the bottom bunk covering my eyes with my arm and trying to let my mind rest when the door opens and slams shut.

"I know you're mad but you can't just go off on me like that in the middle of the squad room in front of everyone."

"Oh, really Elliot, that's low. Even for you. I can't express how I'm feeling because it might make you look bad but you can walk all over me all day and take your anger out towards me?" I stand up matching his demeanor. "You want to talk about not getting it? Cause I really don't get it. How should I act to preserve your ego? I should let go of the fact that you show up at my apartment in the middle of the night confessing your love to me? What, so that you don't ruin me? So that I'm not the other woman? Too late, El. I've loved you for years and I never said anything because I had enough respect for your wife and your family. But you know what, it's too late for that. You made me the other woman when you showed up last night and now everything is rui-" I'm abruptly cut off when he pushes me into the wall.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I gasp as his lips collide with mine. All of the anger and all of the hurt that I was feeling is clouded with infatuation. Years of longing for this moment and knowing how fine of a line she was walking on fills her with adrenaline.

"Elliot wait, we can't." He runs he runs his hands through her hair.

"Liv everything's already a mess." His breathing is deep and uneven. "We're already in whatever this is. I can't let this go."

Her breathing is heavy and barely comes out as a whisper. "You have to." She pushes his chest away from her leaving the bunk room and heading straight out of the precinct.

***

Elliot stands in the bunk room alone running his hands through his own hair. What was he doing? What was he supposed to do? He knew that he was risking it all and yet he couldn't help himself. He knew that this was what he wanted and he could tell deep down that this is what she wanted too. He waited a few minutes before walking out. He kept his head down trying to act cool. He walked to his desk noticing all of Liv's things still scattered around her own desk with her jacket hanging on the back of her chair. He looks around.

"Amanda, have you seen Liv?" Amanda looks up at him concerned.

"She left a few minutes ago. Said something about needing fresh air?" Elliot grabs her jacket and the keys to the squad car. He threw her jacket in the passenger seat and drove around for a few minutes before he saw her. She was sitting by herself, her back leaned against a stone column. He parks the car and slowly walks over to her. He sits down next to her not saying anything and lays her jacket over her lap.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I don't know how to make this work, I want to but I don't know what to do. It really is over with Kathy, but it's still hard to walk away from my family knowing everything's going to change. I'm moving out and Kathy's keeping the house and the kids during the week. I'm trying to work through this and I didn't mean to pull you into this mess, but it wasn't a mistake. I meant it when I said that I loved you, it just didn't come out at the right time. I was tired and I was weak. I gave into what I was feeling and I pulled you into it before either one of us were ready." She sat in silence looking at him for what felt like so long he considered getting up to leave when she grabbed his hand gave it a small squeeze. Something about it felt like reassurance but he couldn't tell.

"I need to know. I need to know you don't have one foot out the door and that you're all the way in." She looks at him waiting for a look of understanding but she can't read his expression.

"LIv, I want to be. I want to be all in, I want it to be you and I."

"Then tell me that's the way it'll be. Tell me I won't be waiting and one day the other shoe will drop and you'll be gone again. I can't let you into my life if I'm going to have to pick up all the pieces alone if this doesn't work."

"It will work, I promise we'll make it work. It'll be better than where we are right now, we just have to give it time."

"Okay, we'll give it time." She rests her hand on his cheek closing her eyes. She was scared, but she wanted this more than anything and she knew that she'd give it all she had to make it work.