My Little Love

We Go From Here

Elliot sits on the couch, his arm wrapped around Olivia. For the first time in the last month he felt like he could finally breathe. He look down at Liv as her breathing slowed to a steadier consistency and he could tell she was asleep. He carefully took Noah off of her lap and cradled him in his arms. He carried the baby to the bedroom and placed him in the crib turning on the nightlight and leaving the door cracked as he left the room. He grabbed the blanket off the side of the couch and gently placed it over Liv taking a seat on the other end of the couch. He rested his feet on the coffee table and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled through his missed notifications noting all the missed calls and messages from Kathy. Ever since he'd requested a rush on the divorce she'd been finding reasons for him to come back. He needed to pick the kids up from school, or she needed his help fixing things around the house. He knew that she was hurting and he felt for her knowing he was the reason. There were times where he thought it would be easier to go back and keep going through the daily routine that had become his life, but this thing with Olivia was magnetizing. She had a way of pulling him in when he least expected. They'd been partners all these years and he'd always ignored his feelings for her, but once Kathy said she wanted the divorce everything changed for him. He wanted to be with Olivia and he knew that she'd always had feelings for him. He didn't want Olivia to be something else that he ruined, but he couldn't walk away. He looked over as he noticed her breathing becoming more uneven again.

"LIv? You okay?" Her eyelids flutter before she fully focuses and looks back at him.

"You put Noah to bed? You didn't have to do that, you can go home El-" Before she has time to finish he cuts her off.

"Don't say you're fine Liv. You don't have to be fine all the time. You just spent months away from your life, from your fa- from everything. I know you can do it all on your own, but you don't have to. I want to be here Liv."

"Elliot, please. Let's not do this right now. I know that you're just trying to help and I appreciate that, really I do. I appreciate everything that everyone has done for me, but there's more between us than just friends helping each other out."

"It doesn't have to be more than that if you're not ready for it. I'm not trying to make things harder for you Liv, I just...I thought that I was going to lose you and I can't do that again."

She looks at him with a sad far off look in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the uncertainty, I'm sorry that I pushed you away. I needed to make it through what was happening and I couldn't focus on anything else."

"If you tell me that this isn't what you want, I'll walk away. My goal here isn't to make things harder for you."

"I can't tell you it's not what I want, I just don't know how to navigate whatever this is. I don't know how to pick up my life and balance it with whatever we have here El. What about Kathy? What about your kids? Work?"

"Liv, we can figure this out."

"You say that, but I need more. I need structure. I need to know that I'm not dropping a grenade that's going to blow my life up right when I think everything is back on track." he gives her an understanding nod, but it pains him to know that she doesn't fully trust him to open herself up to the possibility for there to truly be something between them, but at the same time he doesn't blame her. She'd lost everything time and time again. She'd always given everything else her all and she'd left herself with nothing left to give herself. She was strong and brave and fearless, but he brought out the side of her that was uncertain and afraid to lose one of the last few people who meant the most to her.

"Just trust me, that's all I'm asking. Trust me enough to try, enough to not close the door on this." He sighs trying to read her, or gain any insight as to how she truly feels. "Can we go from there?" Her face looks uncertain but she nods letting out a small sigh.

"Okay, we go from there. We try. It's 'give it time' once more." He places his hand gently around hers on the couch cushion separating the two of them and can't help but feel the smallest bit of hope for what the future could mean for them. He also can't help but notice the tension melt away the second their fingers interlace and the stillness of the moment. A sense of stillness he hadn't felt in a long time, something he wanted to hold onto. He knew he said to give it time before but this was different. After the accident everything was different. She said she loved him. That was all he needed to hear to know that things could be okay. It might take time and it might not be perfect but there was still a real chance if she was willing to let him in a little bit, to trust him enough to give them the benefit of the doubt and pick up where they left off before the accident.

"I love you too." He held her hand a little bit tighter. Her eyes meet his gaze.

"What?" Her breath caught in her throat and the longing consumed her.

"In the hospital, when you said you loved me. I- I was scared of what it meant and I didn't say it back, but I love you Olivia."