My Little Love

What if Things Work?

    He stands outside the door to her apartment wondering if he's about to make a mistake. He knows this isn't the right thing to do, but right now he doesn't care. He's spent the last thirteen years longing for a relationship he'd never be able to have, and now there's nothing stopping him from having it. He thinks about his wife and kids who are home without him. That wasn't his home anymore though, she wanted a divorce and he was tired of fighting it. He knocks on the door and steps back. He waits impatiently for a few more seconds before knocking again. After a few moments and no response he turns to walk away. Just as he turns he hears the door unlock.

"El?" What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" He can see the look of confusion and concern flash across her face but all he can think about is how beautiful she looks. Her long dark brown hair is tucked behind her ear and the contrast of her white satin bed shirt against her sun kissed skin is something he's longed for for so long.

"Kathy wants a divorce, I signed the papers." He steps closer and gently rests his hand on the back of her head closing the distance between them. "Liv, I love you. I've always loved you."

She sighs and whispers so quietly that it's barely audible, "What if it doesn't work out that way?"

He leans in whispering so close she can feel the warmth of his breath on the side of her cheek, "What if it does?" he responds. She caves under the pressure and lets him in. He pushes the door shut behind him and spins her around pulling her so close he can feel her heart racing. He wraps his arms around her thin frame passionately pulling her into him closing the final space between them meeting her lips with his own.

There's so many thoughts spinning around in her head and yet all she can do is give into the  moment that she's spent the last ten years imagining over and over again in her mind. She didn't know if this moment would last but she intended to savor every last second of it. She leads him into the bedroom and he backs her onto the bed. She can feel the weight of him pushing onto her body and for the first time in her life she feels complete. It's as if all the chaos slowly fades away and all she sees is him. He unbuttons her bed-shirt and she can feel her cheeks flush with the warmth of his body wrapped around hers. He hovers over her slipping his own shirt off tossing it behind him pulling her into another kiss. The warmth of their bodies entangled together sends a rush of adrenaline through her whole body. She slips off his belt and as she's unbuttoning his pants, his phone rings. He ignores it and speeds up the process of taking off his pants. Everything is so in sync and they're both the only things on each other's minds. She looks up at him and then back at his body on top of hers.

"El, are you sure about this?" She wants him to say yes and he does without hesitation.

"It's over between me and Kathy, there's nothing to keep us from being together." He goes onto continue and his phone rings again.

"Just answer it." He looks down at her and shifts his weight off of her for a brief moment to answer the phone.
Without checking the caller id he answers the phone and she can see his whole demeanor change in an instant.

"What is it?" Liv covers her bare chest with a blanket sitting up. "Elliot, what's going on?" He slips his clothes back on in a hurry.

"It's Kathy, I have to get back to the house." He looks at her like a child who's just done something wrong and leaves without another word. She stands inside the door of her apartment wearing nothing but a bedsheet feeling emptier than she did before. She knew that she would never come before Kathy or the kids but she'd never let her guard down enough to feel this much disappointment. She felt like she'd waited forever for this moment and it was already gone before it had even fully happened.  She closed the door and slid the lock shot not even knowing how to feel. There wasn't a single sound and yet the silence was deafening.
She lay awake all night replaying the whole thing over and over in her head both angry that she's let her guard down but somehow also consumed with longing for more. At five o'clock in the morning her alarm went off like always and she got up for work. She stood in the shower letting the warm water wash away all the feelings from last night determined to not let this ruin her work. They'd always been partners for ten years and nothing would change that.
She turns off the water and continues getting ready throwing on a pair of black dress pants and a simple top. She gathered the hair around her face and pulled it up into a clip grabbing her small gold necklace and fastening it on the back of her neck the same place Elliot's hands had been just hours earlier. She pushes the thought away and walks out the door.
Stepping into the squad room she feels at ease. The familiar smell of burnt coffee fills the air and for a second she forgets anything was different. She walks over to her desk greeting Fin and the rest of the squad as she did every morning. She sifts through the open files on her desk waiting for a new case to come in listening to the blurred voices of distant conversations filling the silence, creating the optimal work environment that she had grown to know.