I'm Here for You, Always

Chapter 8

Josh grabs a box of tissues and hands a few of them to me and then sits in a swivel stool. As I use them to dry the tears off of my face, I can feel my heart beating out of my chest and my breathing begins to increase.

I can't breathe.

Panic begins to build up inside me.

"Josh, I can't breathe. I can't breathe." I say gasping for air.

My heart is beating faster and faster.

Josh quickly comes to the side of the table and checks my pulse.

"Hey you're breathing a bit too fast, alright. I just need you to take some slow deep breaths for me, Izzy. In through your nose, out through your mouth," he says.

"I can't." I say still struggling

"Yes, you can. Come on, do it with me. In through your nose, out through your mouth," hes says as he takes a breath.

I take a deep breath through my nose and breathe it out through my mouth. And another breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. My breathing slows down.

"I'm just going to check your pulse again, okay?' he says, taking my wrist.

I continue breathing with my head down, my eyes avoiding Josh.

He sits in his swivel stool and comes to the side of the exam table.

"Are you feeling better?" he asks, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, keeping my head down.

"It seems like you just had an anxiety attack. Do you have those often?" he asks.

"I used to have them a lot when I was in high school, but not so much now," I say sniffling and Josh hands me another tissue.

"Have you talked to a psychiatrist or a therapist about them and what triggers them?"

"That's actually where I was coming from when I saw you. I had my first appointment with Dr. Brown today."

"Wyatt Brown? He's a good doctor, you're in good hands with him."

I finally lift my head and look up at Josh. "I'm so sorry about all of this. I'm so embarrassed. This was supposed to be quick so you could get back to your other patients. I'm sorry, I've taken up too much of your time," I say, gathering my things and stepping down from the exam table and heading for the door.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about and it's really not a problem. Hey, just wait a second, please?" Josh says, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I stop just before opening the door.

"My offer still stands. I'll help and support you when you need it. Let me give you my number," he says rummaging through his scrub pants pockets. He pulls out a piece of paper and a pen and jots down his number, handing it to me.

"Thanks, I appreciate this," I say.

"Yeah, my line is always open, call or text me anytime, okay?"

"Okay. Um and can you not tell Matt about any of this?"

"Of course. Doctor- patient confidentiality," he says smiling.

"Thanks," I say

"Okay let me walk you out," he says.