With You [minjoon]

nine

The sun was out. People were scattered everywhere, all with smiles on their faces.

The ice cream melted on his tongue, the sweet, yet slightly sour taste of strawberry lingering in his mouth.

It was obvious Jimin wasn't enjoying the ice cream as much as him. He knew he didn't have much of a sweet tooth, but he sensed sadness from him. He could tell that was the problem.

He had his fingers firm around the bottom of the cardboard cup. His palms were cold.

Sharing ice cream Jimin had a special feel. It was romantic, despite how silent it was. They were enjoying the peace.

But of course, they couldn't stay quiet forever.

"It's been so long since I last had ice cream," Jimin mumbled. "Same," he cracked a small smile, "Guess this is our first time having it in a while?" Silently, he hummed in agreement.

"Hey, Jimin?" he said after a moment of silence; tone serious. "Yeah?"

"Take good care of yourself after I'm gone." He couldn't bear the thought of Jimin tearing himself into sherds.

He let go of his spoon. He averted his eyes away from Namjoon.

"Please, promise me that." Grabbing his chin, he moved Jimin's head, cupping his cheeks. He looked directly into his gaze; a gaze so full of emotions. His eyes were like hidden messages scribbled onto a canvas. So many unreadable feelings.

He nodded, "I promise, Namjoon." He smiled, relieved.

"You go ahead and have the rest," Jimin pointed to the ice cream with his spoon, "I can't eat anymore."

He frowned, "Are you sure? You didn't have much." Jimin never ate much. Even if it was something light. He nodded.

...

"Namjoon, your nose is bleeding!"

He carefully brought his finger to his nose, blood dripping onto his pale skin. His eyes stretched wide open. "Shit, I'll go grab some napkins from the ice cream truck!"

Namjoon was left alone. His fingers were covered by his own blood.

It felt long until Jimin returned, though in reality, it was probably a minute or two. He wiped the blood off his face, pinching the tip of his nose.

They waited in silence.

"We need to get you home, Namjoon," Jimin decided. He nodded in agreement. The bleeding seemed to have stopped.

"If we hurry, we can catch the next bus," he said. Namjoon threw out the rest of the ice cream. They weren't going to eat it.

They got to the bus stop, just in time for the bus.

During the entire bus ride home, Namjoon sat trapped in his own thoughts. Only two months ago he had been completely fine with death, but now he wished he didn't have to die.

All he wanted to do was go visit his doctor and plead for anything; anything that would cure him from cancer so he could be with Jimin.

He hated himself for falling in love so close to death. It wasn't fair to either of them.

Gently, he laid his palm on top of Jimin's. He gave his hand a light squeeze. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He turned his head, meeting Jimin's gaze. He looked so miserable.

Namjoon's body felt robbed of all energy once they got off the bus. When he was sedentary for too long, he would be drained after he got up.

With Jimin close to his side, there to make sure he didn't fall over, they both sluggishly made their way to their apartments. They walked side by side under the pink sunset, enjoying the warmth of the orange sun on their half-shut eyelids.

They came to a stop, faced with the door to Namjoon's apartment. "You should get some proper rest," Jimin told him, laying a small hand on his shoulder.

He nodded, a firm smile tugging at his lips, "I will. And you should, too."

For a moment he just stared at Jimin. He could see he was trying hard to put on a happy image for him, but it was like his eyes were so wounded with the pain he was feeling. He couldn't fool him, not even once; Jimin hadn't felt happy in a long time.

"Goodnight, Namjoon." He engulfed Jimin in a hug; a tight hug. He held him close to his body, refusing to let go no matter how uncomfortable it was feeling Jimin's bony chest against his.

He wanted to hold him in his arms forever and never let go. This way he felt he would never leave him. But eventually he'd rot while Jimin sat confused with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Goodnight. I love you." he whispered, gently planting a kiss on the smaller man's crown. He smelled sweet; like vanilla.

They pulled apart, turning around to head inside their own apartments.

Once inside the safety of his own home, Namjoon slid down against the door, burying his face in his palms. Jimin wasn't in his arms anymore. He wasn't with him anymore.

His body shook with sobs. It was the worst pain he'd ever dealt with.