Every Memory Repeats

Chapter 29

Mickey Horton drew up the adoption papers for Billie's baby, and he helped negotiate her plea. Her childhood was a myriad of horrors inflicted on her by a sadistic madman, and Billie was unwilling to relive it all in a public court. The DA took her trauma into consideration, and offered her fifteen years in a minimum security facility. The day she accepted the plea, Billie went into labor.

Staring at the baby in her arms, and touching his brown curls with a gentleness she didn't know she possessed, Billie looked at Marlena and said, "He's beautiful."

"He is," Marlena gushed. "You were amazing, you know that?"

"Amazing?" Billie laughed. "I don't know about that. I feel like I did a lot of screaming."

"When I had the twins...I know I did a lot of screaming. I think I may have cursed Roman's very existence," Marlena said jokingly.

Billie was quiet, staring into her son's sleeping face, "They're going to transport me tonight. I'll—I'll finish me recuperation in the prison infirmary..."

Marlena touched Billie's cheek softly, and Billie looked up with tear filled eyes, "We're going to send you updates, like we promised. He will be loved. Austin will be in his life, even more I suspect, since he and Carrie seemed to have developed a fondness for one another."

Billie chuckled, "I can't believe they're dating."

"You're still his mother. You will always be his mother, and when he's old enough, he's going to know his story. John and I, we will make sure that he's strong enough to handle that when the time comes," Marlena told her.

"I love him so much, and that's why...it's why I have to do this," Billie told her. "Sometimes to fully love something, you have to let it go, and I—I have to let him go...Did you pick a name yet?"

"We were thinking Nathaniel. It means 'G-d has given'."

Billie smiled, looking into her sons serene face, "It's a beautiful name, and you'll make his middle name Brady?"

"Yes. He's a gift from G-d, Billie. He's a gift from you," Marlena said.

Touching his cheek softly, Billie murmured, "Nathaniel Brady Black. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They'd moved their family into a larger home barely a week before Billie gave birth. John stood outside the ensuite bathroom in their bedroom, gently patting Nate on the bum, and rocking him, while he called through the door, "Doc what's taking you so long? Our son had his gourmet breakfast of soy formula, and had his diaper changed by a professional...namely me. He would like to spend some time with you."

She opened the door, looking ill, and muttered, "I think I have the flu. It might not be good to have the baby around me right now."

John stepped back, and asked her with concern, "You're sick?"

"I can't seem to hold anything down," she said.

"Is anything else wrong? Or are you just nauseous? I mean, could you be pregnant?"

"Pregnant? John, I'm nearly..." her voice trailed off, as she pondered John's question. Pregnancy wasn't something she'd considered. She hadn't gotten pregnant when they were married before, and she assumed, maybe it just wasn't meant to be, but they hadn't been doing anything to prevent pregnancy either.

"Doc?"

Marlena looked up John with wide eyes, and quickly ran to grab her purse. Rummaging through it, she pulled out the small calendar card she kept there. Her eyes stared at it for a moment, before she said, "I haven't had my period in over three months. How could I not know that?"