Every Memory Repeats

Chapter 2

Roman was getting out of the shower when Marlena woke up. Exiting the bathroom wrapped in a towel. He watched her walk to the closet, intent on picking out her clothing for the day, and he said, "We can't go on like this forever."

Marlena stopped short, turning to face him, "What do you mean?"

Roman gestured between them with his hand, "This. You've allowed me back into the bedroom, but you're still keep me at a distance!"

"You said you would give me time, Roman."

"I have given you time," he said stepping closer to her.

Marlena knew he was going to kiss her. She wasn't sure she was ready for that, but she also knew, if she kept putting him off, she would never know. She watched him warily as he stepped forward, and reached for her, pulling her mouth to his. His lips landed on hers, dry and rough, and his tongue tried to shove inside her mouth. Immediately, Marlena pushed at his chest, as he held her face in the grip of his hands. She pushed harder against him, finally forcing him to step back from her with a stumble.

Roman was angry. He was more than angry, he was downright furious, "All right. That's it. That's it! I've had enough!" Roman told her, watching as she wiped her hand over her mouth, and stepped further away from him.

"You said, you'd be patient!" Marlena told him.

Roman had no patience, "Patient? I have been more than patient, Doc. I have waited seven years! The only thing that kept me going in that jungle was the thought, that maybe you and I might be together again someday! With our kids! In this house!" He stepped closer to her, and she stepped back again. Roman yelled as loudly as he could, "But this? This is worse than anything I experienced in that jail cell! Worse than them making me sit, and watch videotapes of you and John Black! Because now, here I am, this close to you, and I can't even kiss my own wife for crying out loud! Well, that's not right!" He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, before he continued, pointing his finger at her, "I love you. I want to make love with you, and I refuse to apologize for that!"

"I don't want you to apologize!" Marlena said, with tears in her voice. "I know this has been very hard for you. I know that this is hard for you, but I need time. You said, you would give me that. You said, you would wait."

Roman looks at her, unmoved by her tears, and says, "How long do I have to wait?"

"I don't know!" Marlena shouts, overcome with frustration. "I don't—"

"—what? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of hurting him?" Roman says with disgust.

She looks at Roman for a moment, before she nods her head, saying softly, "Yes. I am afraid of hurting him. I was married to him—"

"—you were married to me! You're with me now. I thought your decision was made when we came home from Mexico!"

"It was...it is...but, Roman, I was married to both of you! I loved him. I made love to him. I can't pretend that didn't happen. I can't pretend I didn't have those feelings," she said, wiping at her tears furiously.

Roman watched her, finally acknowledging that this was about more than her hurting John, "You still have those feelings don't you?"

She can't admit it. She can't voice out loud what she knows to be true. Not when she and John have gone in separate directions, so she said, "I don't know...I don't even know how I feel. I don't...I don't know what I'm going to do..."

The bedroom door opened slightly, and Marlena heard Sami's voice, "Mommy? Mommy, are you okay?"

Rushing to the door, Marlena kneeled down, brushing the hair back from her daughter's sleepy face, "Yes, baby. I'm sorry that your Daddy and I woke you. We didn't mean to be so loud."