The last iron tasted kiss (DIO x OC)

I see.

"My heart loves for his fire. But still I fall apart when I see him frustrated. A few previous days were horrible. And again, there weren't any screams, excessively exposed violence, anything a normal human being would consider as an annoyance. It was special as everything else right here. I felt it in my bones how each day passes by and his temper gets out of control even if he's trying to keep it together and hide it from anyone to notice. He just smashes with his death threatening aura away. No one else than a few people can speak to him.

Besides that, Anya disappeared and a few other people serving in this mansion. It appeared that they were dead as the Lord told me. Not that I've expected anything else. Bless all of them in an embrace of death.

"They were not enough for such a mission" - all he hissed.

Even if I have a plenty of time with him one on one I can't have it all. Some of his words are still a mystery for me, I haven't got an access to them. Maybe it is my lack of understanding all what he is actually doing and planning, but at least my intentions in following and believing in heaven are pure. I'm not a one to loose it all because of doubt nor not knowing something. As long as I believe him and as long as he keeps me close it's all right. Everything begins with a step and each step further towards complete unity is a blessing. I am already grateful for being on this way. Our rendezvous are the best I could ever imagine. I won't even try to complain. Besides I don't need to.

I've been thinking again about my prediction of his destiny again. Not that I'm doubting in something I've said him, but still something covers my eyes a bit and I sense it. Like there is a thin black cloth between me and a true knowledge. I try to get through it but all I achieve is not close enough. Like his line is intentionally blurred, his river is too much to be true or false. It remides me of a theory where it is said when a lie is bigger than it usually is it's much more... believable? Something in this key. The bigger a lie the more trustworthy it is. I bet you won't believe a person claiming they stole a whole truck filled with money, but you will believe someone stealing a pencil from a store. That's what I mean. I believe once I wrote here I don't need to know anything about a person I read or observe. But now something have changed. I've changed. And my power so on. I sense it in my soul the thing hiding Dio's destiny from me is my lack of knowledge. If I knew just a little more about him, about his wills, about people surrounding and opposing him... maybe it would help me in my search. And I crave for it, I want it. Not only for these reasons. Like rereading a bible for once more and more to catch any detail. For now it is only on my liability to figure it out. What a shame to see everything but at the same time having all those questions. I'm sorry for being that way. Dio, I don't think I'm able to completely meet your expectations. I'm so sorry.

I am not afraid of him raging at me. Rather to be honest I am afraid of his words towards me. Once there was an accident while I was in his bedroom. I was laying on a bed near his legs as always and his voice interrupted my empty head buzzing. He was just saying things about the Joestar family chasing him, how is it important to get rid of them, why all of that in the first place happens to him. I've already heard that story and not going to lie I've seen it in my prediction. The other line tangling with his so many times. But it only became clear since the complete story was granted me, still I always could fell something besides his aura surrounding this place getting each day stronger and stronger. That's them, his enemies. Trying to find and kill my Lord. What a miserable thing to even try. I was surprised how Dio was reacting to that, a human his level should never even think about all those creatures thinking they are capable of changing things that are written in the world destiny with blood. Everyone is bound by it and trying to break "free" only leads to death, that's the truth. But still he struggles with that family, "don't underestimate them, never" - he says any time I have questions. Why? The Lord shouldn't underestimate himself after all. Still... feels like he does. About the accident. I saw fire in his eyes even though he wasn't looking at me, he was reading an old book about... don't remember what about it was. I was concerned about his behavior. He told me those people were already in Egypt. His hands were stressed more than usual, words from his mouth were sharper than usual. The dialogue.

"My body is still not perfect so I need more time and blood for my power. I need some quality food, but as everything fitting me enough it ends."

"I can bring women here working at nights on bar streets. I want to do anything if it makes you feel better. I can bring anything for you! Anything, please!" - my voice was stuttering under the heavy panic. I believe it was my urge to keep him convinced in his supremacy. Have no idea why I was so hooked up on my feelings but it's a fact. Tears were getting in my eyes. I wanted to save my savior.

"No. You stay here until I can let you out. You have no avail outside rather right here. Don't you ever do anything like that, or I'll loose my observation on things." - he closed the book loudly and looked right into my eyes.

The thing I did next wasn't the best. I believe it was the worst I could. That's what we have. Past is not present you can't change it even if you try. Traces from all the past actions can follow you till the death. You can't erase them as long as they keep in people's memories. And can't not mention your own memory. Dementia is terrifying, but at some point it gives people freedom of their own chains of the past.

"Take my blood! Please, I'm a volunteer, my blood as the one with a stand may affect you better than others! Please! I'm not a coward, just accept it, my Lord!" - I couldn't stop the words spitting out through the heavy tears making me blind.

This is all I could do. I traced my hand towards him but he immediately hissed and stood up leaving me on the bed alone. As I just lifted my face towards I felt him giving me a strong slap in the face. I tasted some blood in my mouth as I accidentally bit my cheek in a shock.

"Shut the hell up. Cut it off and leave. Now." - extremely emotionless he said.

I never heard him being that pissed of. As an affection was still ringing in my ears I immediately left the room and fell between the columns of the hall I'm living in. The cold floor never felt that cold for me than that moment. I remember shaking and holding my tears not to make any noise. I was totally afraid.

I lost myself over this? I knew and know what he needs. I know what still holds him locked up here. He needs blood. Tons of blood. And not any kind of it. I could help him that way. Why not? I'm young, stand using woman. The perfect candidate. I would be grateful to make him feel better to die near him knowing I did what I was born for, even if it is against my destiny I'm still confident in my decision. The last thing my sight would fall on is his appearance. What a beautiful choice of a death. Isn't that the peace he is achieving here, to choose when you are about to let the life go by yourself, to fully accept it and fall asleep forever in a calmness? I think yes. When you know you're ready, everything completes and you know exactly what to do next. But I was deprived of it in such a brutal way. All my willingness was thrown away just like my words mean nothing to him. Except I know that's not true. He said it out loud why he needs me now, but still I feel like I'm not giving him enough. I wonder how he actually understood my words or maybe what did he feel. I am sure I'm not such a creature to have that much of attention and you know... such to give someone an affection... on him especially still I... crave for it. I want to completely feel any of his words or feelings towards me. I am as miserable as in need of these things. I love him. I can't throw it out of my head. I'm not only addicted to him but obsessed. I'm the obsessed cult member. I'm the one. How adorable. Such a pathetic idea still very heart breaking and giving me high.

I'm afraid to see him again. I'm afraid what he will do to me. No. I'm not afraid of that. I'm more afraid of his words. I never thought that I would deny any chance to talk to him. But I will obey. But please don't call me in your room. To be honest I've fucked up everything. Everything I could. I did made him mad, I made him feel worse besides all the issues leaning over him. That's what I was avoiding the most. Who in the hell could actually do that to their loved one? To their god? I just can't look at myself anymore, I want to rip off my hair and gouge out my eyes such a guilt I experience. I'm ashamed of myself. And I can't even kill myself because that would be against his will and would probably make him annoyed even more. Who am I without him? The fuck am I writing? Such a miserable thing is not allowed to do something like thinking of their feelings.

What was it like a day back? Ain't everything is beautiful? Ain't everything is fine? That's all I was thinking about. Hilarious."