The last iron tasted kiss (DIO x OC)

What.

""Fight for yourself! Do something at least to save yourself! Or maybe you are just masochistic or suicidal I believe?" - says he and hits me another time.

"Mortals like you are tend to hold on their lives. They are craving for wealthy and peaceful life. Why don't you do anything for that?" - once more.

He tries to awake my stand. I'm even pleased how dare is he to do that to me. I've never seen such an audacity, such pride, I believe I'm one of the chosen ones to witness this for once in a lifetime. My body is aching all the time. I can't even lay down sometimes as the bruises on my skin hurt so much. They cover me like dark red rose petals. In them I see beauty. Beauty of surviving. But I won't be surprised if it is only my coping. Am I such a big treasure for them? He could have killed me already. Why he continues to try something if it doesn't work. What is that one special thing inside of me that keeps me in someway alive even though on the edge of the inevitable death?

Anya on the other hand, tries in her own ways. She tells me how is it amazing to worship Dio, help and follow him until the death. How great is my luck to appear here right next to a new god. How grateful should I be for any touch he gives me. I somehow understand what she feels. He is the reason she wants to live. She doesn't see any other options to live for but to serve him. All she talks about is him, him, him. I can't stand it anymore but... continuing. Chasing something behind those foolish pathos lines holds me together.

I even mention in myself most of my thoughts are about him. This whole affection ruins me. If I won't stop I would never get out of here alive. Recent few weeks flew fast and during them I was getting here a bit more I would say... comfortable. I'm getting used to everything already. All I thought about back then was how to get out, what is actually going on, where am I. But now something turned in my head. My thoughts are eventually drifting into space, I think about his monologues, his nature, his character. Maybe it is a key for escaping but without any other words it gets very frustrating and in some point interesting to be here. His aura and charismatic behavior in some way affects me more and more. I can't just resist it. It is all over here in this place. How just a normal human being even with a stand as they're saying can resist it and stay mind clear at all? That's what I think have happened to Anya. All alone old woman have found a new religion of hers and a place where she has a purpose. But I don't have a purpose here! I know it... or not... I'm always confused!

And still about him. He is the religious cult leader. He is the one to reign over the world and sky. Represented like that he behaves exactly like he is supposed. Is that his true nature or only a mask for others not to doubt his abilities? Actually for me... it looks like he is true about his inner self. I don't know. I'm not here to analyze anything but yet I've got nothing else to do. And as I've wrote it's interesting. When he is not beating me he is ready enough to not only talk but to listen to me. That's why I think that is like really him, not a cover only. I'm surprised. I'm moving to Anya's place in a chain now? How adorable.

His voice is true magnificent, I wish he could only speak to me without hitting at any moment. I can't deny that. When I listen to him the soft feeling takes over me someway. Something in his speech reaches soft spots of my soul and I start to less think why am I here and what's the purpose. I'm not mad at him. I'm just tired. Like a switch either I'm interested in him either I'm frustrated when he attacks me. Maybe awaking my stand is for my good? Maybe that's the key to the peace and the answer?

A meeting with him is like a drug. I taste it and when I want more. Like he talks and talks and almost I understand everything I should and even need he sends me back to the hall. It makes me sick. If he is willing to spend time with me why not for more. Like he has a schedule down in his mansion. And you know... I am tend to have an addiction in some way.

Sometimes he makes me shine. That's the worst thing that could ever happen at this point. I've mentioned before about the words he says me. When he is calm gives comments how beautiful am I and how much of potential I've got. In such a tender and tranquil as eternity manner. He was saying that from the very beginning but it reached me just recently. The curtain of a true horror and unknown is fading away so that is why. Or maybe that is an acceptance of a sudden death, still not sure. I'm not used to such words so that's the reason they influence me so deep. To be honest I've always wanted to hear them for once in a while. When I just got here they seemed like a dust in my eyes to hide his true intentions but as I've stayed here for a while and he still says that I keen on believing in that. It is familiar with an aftercare as I quite know. After an act of violence there is a hush. At these moments I realize I'm not only a stupid slave without any rights nor anything but a person. That is the point of addiction. Even sitting right now in a cold room with this notebook without anything to eat while I'm starving doesn't affect me as this slowly passing time waiting for the next time in his room. Scary words I've wrote right now. But that's the truth. The main idea is still dig into something and find a diamond. Maybe this diamond is somewhere near. The truth. Now I'm obsessed with it.

I may say in some way he is merciful. I only right now realized that he really gave me this notebook. This is a gift and nothing else. I have no idea maybe he would read it someday or someone is sneaking through right after I finish my scratches but still that's the thing keeping me in sort of control of myself. I know he understands it. How writing act on people. And still he gave me it. It wasn't that someone from his servants handed me it and said "this is from the lord" but a personal thing. With his own hand he landed me it. "Here, take it" -
All he said.

And for that I'm grateful. Not grateful to be here at all but in those circumstances... yes. I am."