Forgive me?

Trust? #4

Fluff

(TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM IS MENTIONED AND DONE. )

"I'm sorry" he said quietly. 

"Don't be I let you didn't i?" I rubbed his head more playing with his head more.

He really liked this act of love I could tell by his reactions to what I'm doing. Talking softly to him made him blush, rubbing his head made him trust me more, playing with his hair showed I wasn't afraid of him like the others were. I really liked him.

Travis' pov

This blue haired boy really liked me. It wasn't a lie I could tell, no one ever treated me like this. They always treated me as some kind of plague, migrating away when I appeared. I didn't feel lonely around sal, I felt.. whole. As if I could be myself and he wouldn't have a care in the world, could I?.

Sals pov

I put my hand up to his chin and pulled him up to my face so he wasn't hiding in my lap anymore.

"Don't be embarrassed trav, I-" he cut me off

"I trust you." He let out quickly.

"Oh? You do.. that's lovely trav I'm glad." I said pulling him into a hug.

Ash and Larry were watching us I could tell. I really wanted to kiss him but I wasn't ready to show him my face yet.

We broke away from the hug and he rested his head on my shoulder.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yea..I've just never heard romance music much." He said moving to the rhythm of my favorite love song. "Dream a little dream of me" by Louis Armstrong.

"You like this?" I said pulling him onto my lap and resting my hands on his hips.

"Yea." He replied as he put his arms down by his sides.

I pulled his arms up and put them over my shoulders as he continued to rock back and forth on my lap to the rhythm. 

"Hm..m.." He let out some noises and rested his head I the crook of my neck.

"It's so calming" he spoke against my neck making me jerk

"Ah...uh.. don't do that" I said moving my hand from his hip to his back rubbing it.

Though it felt good to do this I know it's wrong because it's at school. So I asked him if he wanted to go back with me to my apartment. He replied with yes and grabbed his stuff and I did too. I put on my headphones and gave them to him so he could still listen to the music.

I know things are moving quick but I really can't help myself. I need him to be mine.

We arrived at my apartment.

"Dad this is travis." I said an travis waved awkwardly.

"Sup travis." He replied and looked back at the stove to continue cooking.

We walked to my room and I pushed travis on my bed and climbed on top of him.

"Your so pretty~" I told him rubbing my finger softly against his facial features. 

Rubbing his nose to his lips to his cheeks to his temples.

"Mhmp~.." was all he managed to choke up.

I move away and got off of him and went onto the top of the bed.

"Come on, let's lay together a while longer. Yea?" I asked in a teasy way.

He didn't see to appreciate this but still nodded none the less.

We got into bed and just cuddled for a while.

"Shit what time is it" he asked worried.

"Uh 2:50? Why?" I replied.

"Sorry but I have to go. I have church if I don't go.. you can guess.." He said grabbing his stuff and rushing out

I followed him and only got to yell bye as he ran down the hall.

Hm. What was I gonna do with him?

The rest of my day was pretty normal. I just did some drawings of him again. I drew his nose better this time. More attractive.

He was attractive.

Travis' pov

I rushed home and walked to my room and set my stuff down as my grabbed my rosarie and sat on the ground and began to pray for forgiveness.

"God please forgive me I don't know what got into me, I know it's wrong to like another guy but I just can't help it. I don't know what's wrong with me and I can't help but think about him since I got here and began to pray. Please forgive me ill try not to sin again God just forgive me please. I'm so sorry." I finished my prayer. I just jumped on my bed and began to cry.

I grabbed a razor I hid from my father and rolled up my sleeve. "Don't do it, he won't forgive you." I thought "do it. You deserve it you sinner." I also thought. I just began to slide the blade against my arm and cut over and over until I felt it was enough for my sins.

I slowly put the razor away and grabbed some bandage I had on my table and wrapped my arms up. I wanted to cry but I knew father would be home soon to take us to church.

Just as I though he was here and picking me up. The car ride was silent as we reached the church.

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