11 Mars, 1962
I have met someone. A few weeks ago I bacame full time singer in Bengt Sandlunds Big Band. And I fell madly in love with the trombonist Ragnar, at once. It's unlike me. I don't use to get feelings for people I just met. But it is something special with him. And he's so sweet and kind. I've never been in love. Not for real at least. But, the problem is that he is 20 years old! He's four years older than me! Can it work?
And I just wonder if he feel the same like I do. I'm too careful to think that he does. Grandmother has always told me to not hope too much. Because it's really hard to take dissapointments.
The first time she said it to me, was like two years ago when I said to her "What if my father is alive?" Of course he isn't, but I hoped. Now I don't do it. As said, never hope too much. But of course you can't live a life without hope. Then it's like give it all up.
I think that I will tell him how I feel. Hope he feels the same.
