Upon the Metkayina Clan giving his family sanctuary, and now living under Awa'atlu, Neteyam didn't foresee himself to be holding secrets.
As the eldest brother, all he wanted was to protect and follow his father, Jake Sully's (Toruk Makto) footstep...
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—SENTIMENTS BENEATH TOUGH SKIN—
"Have you ever liked anyone?" Lo'ak blurted out of the blue. Neteyam hesitated, his limbs going still. He looked at his brother, chuckling nervously.
"What's...What's with the question?" He asked, uneasy.
"I don't know," Lo'ak replied doubtful, his voice feeble. "I guess people wonder things. You know things about me, and I...I don't know. You never tell me anything—"
"What?" Neteyam cocked his head, frowning. He examined the younger before him, trying to figure him out. Lo'ak was glaring back at him dead in the eye. He was serious.
"What I'm saying is that I know nothing about you. You don't tell me anything, dude. We don't talk about girls or play games as some brothers do—"
"Hold on. What does this have to do with girls?" Neteyam laughed, amused.
"It has to do with the fact that you don't share anything! Not even your love life at least," Lo'ak fumed.
"I understand," Neteyam sighed. He squeezed his brother's shoulders, in an attempt to calm him down, but he was shoved off, hard.
"No. No, you don't. You never do" Lo'ak trailed with a tinge of gloom. "Why can't I know who my brother likes? Like you and I with Tsireya..."
"Lo'ak, I don't like anyone at the moment" Neteyam deadpanned, his face stern and unwavering.
What? Lo'ak's ears perked up, his stomach churning, and eyes saddening. He doesn't trust me, was all that swirled around his mind.
"...Forget it," Lo'ak said. He laid on his mat and turned away from Neteyam. He was enraged. His brother had just lied straight to his face.
He heard Neteyam let out an exasperated sigh. "Why are you so persistent?" He asked.
"I said forget it. I don't care anymore," Lo'ak dismissed.
Neteyam stood standing, staring grimly at the back of his brother. He didn't blame Lo'ak for trying to bond with something simple as crushes. He just couldn't fetch himself to tell anybody what he was.
He was fearful of allowing himself to be seen and eroding the expectations he's built for himself, his father, and those around him. He was the oldest with the duty of protection. His fancies and displeasures didn't matter.
He didn't want to acknowledge that Lo'ak was right. He never told anyone anything, at least nothing personal.
Neteyam was just there; distant, almost robotic, forever on duty. Ao'nung saw that since day one.
Without Neteyam's realization, Ao'nung would inquire him, asking things no one ever pestered to ask him. Long discussions on long discussions.
For once Neteyam felt puny, shielded, and light, as if his shoulders were cleared from orders. He found understanding in Ao'nung, and while he still tried to play protector, Ao'nung would stop him, ensuring him that everything was well. And that's how his shell gradually broke.
Yet, as much as he tried, he couldn't seem to break around his family. He was always on guard.
"Lo'ak" he called. No response.
He walked over and crouched. He stroked his brother's head, mumbling sweet nights. He glanced at Tuktirey, tucked in her fetal position, and watched with tenderness as she lightly twitched in her slumber.
He looked at his mom and dad, far ahead within their Marui, both conversing with Kiri with their feet submerged in the water, something they did a lot these days. It was their favorite spot.
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They were cuddled inside their little cave. It was their secret spot. They had found it not too long ago as they were strolling about.
"Something wrong?" Ao'nung cooed, blue eyes goring through Neteyam's golden yellowish. His stare was intense and enthralling Neteyam almost looked away with timidity.
"Lo'ak" He breathed, his lips quavering. Though he strained not to, his face scrunched and his chin wavered, eyes pricking and glossing with tears.
"I don't know," He whispered, furiously shaking his head. "I don't fucking know..."
His head was hazy and stirring with distasteful thoughts. He blinked, and blinked, and blinked, trying to contain himself. He felt shame before the other's gaze and was frantic to steer himself away from everything. He felt vulnerable. Too soft, and weary.
Ao'nung brought their heads together, their heavy breaths in unison. He stroked Neteyam's nape gently in a pensive mood.
"I'm tired..." Neteyam wept, tear after tear after tear, running down his face without end. There was a forlorn smile placed upon Ao'nung's lips as he gazed into Neteyam. It was then that he noticed the slight lemon-green hue within the yellow eyes.
Gorgeous...
"Talk to me," Ao'nung told him gently. "I'm right here."
Neteyam peered at him with blurry eyes. He exhaled hard.
"I miss home. I miss being young. I miss Lo'ak. I wish he could understand. I wish he didn't feel burdened by me. I wish he saw me as his brother and not a shadow or someone he has to overcome. I wish we weren't distant" He told, sniffling.
Ao'nung's heart panged. He cupped Neteyam's cheeks, wiping his tears while gaping at him with endearment. Though at the back of his mind, he wanted to kill Lo'ak (like always).
"Shh, It's okay. It's Lo'ak, not you. You're everything people please and respect. Don't stress, love, everything is fine. I promise" He cooed, pecking his lips. Once. Twice. Thrice.
Neteyam broke into a smile. A glamorous grin.
He hid his face into Ao'nung's neck, his nose nuzzling against the warmth and smoothness of his turquoise skin. He kissed his jaw, feeling Ao'nung's hands rubbing up and down his thigh, gently as if he'd hurt him.
After a few minutes, his mind drifted. Black was all he could see. Neteyam wasn't bothered. He was at peace. He snored softly, fast asleep.
