ALL OVER AGAIN

2

"Dara?"

I woke up.

"Dara, are you okay?"

My heart feels heavy.

"Dara?"

I can't.

"Dara please."

I'm crying again.

"Don't cry."

I remember him saying that.

My heart stings.

This needs to stop.

I miss him.

He's not here anymore.

I wish he is.

But he's not

and you need to move on.

But what if I don't want to move on?

You do want to move on,

you just don't know where to start.

Is it okay to feel this way?

Of course but you can't keep doing this.

Do what?

Destroying yourself.

You need to get out of bed,

you need to get clean;

go take a bubble bath,

wear something other than those pajamas you've been wearing for the past two nights

and maybe put a little makeup on.

You need to go outside,

you need distraction,

you need to forget.

...

"Minzy." I whispered.

She looked at me with wide eyes.

It's the first time I spoke since that day.

It feels strange,

like I'll throw up.

"Let's go outside."

She stared at me for a minute, processing what I just said.

"Really?" She asked in disbelief.

"Really."

Her eyes began to water.

"Okay," she hugs me, "let's go outside."

. . .

"Ready?" Minzy asked as she opened the door.

I nodded and slowly stepped outside.

"Do you want to take the car?" She asked.

I shook my head.

"Okay then." She smiled.

The sky was clear and the warmth of the sun kissed my skin as I walked down the road.

I looked around and it felt like everything was greeting me...

the trees are cheering,

the roads are welcoming

and that one traffic light is telling me;

Stop.

That boy doesn't deserve your 3am thoughts or your 5pm tears.

He doesn't deserve to be the reason why your eyes are red and your hands are shaking.

He shouldn't be able control how you feel when you wake up tomorrow,

he's not your world,

you have your own.