The Incredibly Consequential Life of Charlie Zappala

Chapter Six: The Portrait of a Dork-ian Gay

There was a lot here that was difficult to describe. Really, any element of the past forty-five minutes came with its own slew of questions worthy of a doctoral thesis, but the question that shot to the top of the list was why was there an ornate painting featuring a figure with a striking one-to-one resemblance to the one and only Charlie Zappala?

Well, the hair was a little different, the painted version sporting a cropped cut that Charlie had a little over two years ago. They were wearing pleated white robes, almost like a toga, and whoever did the art took some liberty with Charlie's proportions. But despite the inconsistencies there was no denying the identity of the subject. Even the expression was hauntingly accurate to them.

Charlie reached up to touch it.

Sabbas instinctively pulled their wrist away. "Ah, sorry. Please don't touch."

They retracted their hand and went back to staring. They observed the scene around painted-Charlie. Painted leaves and laurels surrounded the portrait, invoking a sensation of victory. An unrecognizable coat of arms floated above their head, positioned over two crossed swords. A large, colorful bird that Charlie couldn't recognize hovered over their left shoulder with its wings outstretched.

Charlie was silent, eyes transfixed with no sign of movement.

Sabbas broke the silence. "I know you must be confused. I will explain everything shortly." He began to walk further down the hall.

They didn't move."Um, excuse me?"

Charlie was enraptured, complete focus taken to scrutinizing every detail of their unauthorized portrait.

Althea placed a hand on their shoulder.

They jumped.

"Come now," she ushered.

Charlie followed with the same reservation of a chastised grade schooler.

The three weaved through the aisles once more. This time they stopped at a large wood-carved mural that spread even wider than the previous painting. Some of the edges had faded with age. There was so much going on within it that Charlie nearly went cross-eyed.

"This is an abridged version of all our history," Sabbas explained. "It covers the beginning of recorded history all the way up our most recent cycle. It is a bit difficult to decipher, but I can translate if you would like."

They nodded once.

He lit up. "Oh, good. So if you follow me from the beginning." He pointed to the far left of the carving. Dozens of circles were carved in varying sizes. One in the center stood out, surrounded by a thick halo. "Mythology says that we all appeared from bubbles. In the beginning, there were hundreds of bubbles, thousands of bubbles. Only a few were able to break away and ferment on their own." He pointed to the bubble with the halo. "This one here is the beginning of our existence. Our world was birthed from this bubble. Within it formed the land and sky and stars and seas." His pointer followed the flow of the mural, stopping on a carving of a vast landscape, featuring all of the aforementioned elements.

Charlie silently wondered if they knew about heliocentrism in this so-called world.

"From there, people arose and created civilizations. They formed many principalities, and from there many kingdoms.

"Is that supposed to be a pun or—"

He continued, "And times were prosperous." He ran his hands along wood carved humans rising from the earth, a birth by Gaea. As the timeline progressed, houses and castles arose. In the distance, a large bird with beautifully detailed and outstretched wings loomed behind the scene.