Embers of Sun and Flame (Fuegoleon Vermillion x OC)

Chapter 44 Please, forgive me

Solara made her way into her bedroom, the events of the day swirling in her mind. The Queen had made a decision, and the decision would be final. Now it was more so about the dust settling, people coming into terms with it, and making preparations for what might follow.

The dust needs to settle... And on top of that I should determine where I'm going for my Evaluation... she sighed to herself while pinching the bridge of her nose.

There was a knock on her balcony door, which made her let out another sigh as she shook her head. Only two people would do so, and given the un-presence of mana, she suspected it to belong to Celer.

What do they want at this hour...? She wondered while making her way to the door, feeling the weight of her bones as she did so. The cool night air greeted her as she pushed the doors open, and a familiar face emerged from the other side.

"[What is it Celer?]" She asked with a heavy, tired tone, despite her best efforts to keep it neutral.

They waved to her, but this time, their expression was stern. Strangely it reminded her of the expression in Lidre Curiosi's eyes. Perhaps... it's not that Lidre Curiosi is ... hard to read... Maybe, maybe they just know too much to about... everything that's going on, to look like anything else than serious...

They took a step towards Solara, holding their hands out to her, almost as if insisting that she'd talk to them.

A frown rose over her expression as she placed her hands onto theirs, her senses focusing on the heavy taps that they left onto her hands. Taps that spelled out "we need to talk".

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Fuegoleon walked out of the castle, feeling an array of emotions. Though he was immensely proud of Leo's achievements, he couldn't fully revel in the joy of it. There was far too much swirling in his mind. Perhaps... perhaps if he had had to only consider the future of Clover kingdom and these six months before the upcoming battle... 'Only'... Even a few weeks ago the idea of having to consider 'only' the future of this kingdom... it would've seemed absurd. But there's too much now. The fate of the world... or at least the continent depends on the war. We have no other choice but to succeed. And I- he grit his teeth as he thought, feeling two emotions clashing inside of him as he made his way on the paved street, his heels clacking against the stones. He struggled to admit a thought to himself, but a part of it brought him comfort. A part of him... wanted her to be closed behind Thean borders.

He stopped after turning a few corners, now standing alone on a side path, and gazed up to the clear sky. It was grey and heavy, foretelling rain, which wasn't quite that surprising, given how it was autumn. The rain... nature would like it. After the many sunny days of summer, the trees and the grass, they'd appreciate a little bit of rain, for not all rain was bad. But... as he looked at the heavy heavens, he had to admit it to himself. If she... was ... if she would wind up behind closed borders, she'd be safer... She wouldn't be put in the middle of a battle... She wouldn't need to see... another war....

He felt as if something was trying to carve him out. Perhaps it was the strings again, trying to wrap around his heart so tight, that it'd bleed soon, filling his chest eventually with a roaring ocean. Empty and heavy, it felt as if he was a container made of lead. That was the weight, the sensation, that landed onto him as he watched the darkening skies. If she was behind closed borders... then she'd be safe. I wouldn't need to... watch her... no, she wouldn't. She's... she's stronger than that, I'm sure. Even if we fought side by side in the war, I wouldn't have to watch her... he swallowed. I wouldn't need to bear losing her. I wouldn't need to watch it happen. And I wouldn't. I wouldn't see it, because she... I'd go before she does. She has survived a war, and she would survive another. His train of thought paused for a moment as he took a deep, shaky breath. She'd be safe there... He finally admitted to himself. But... even so I-, a lump got lodged in his throat as he thought about it all. I miss her...By the gods how I miss her... Maybe it's... maybe I'm selfish for wanting her here. So that I could explain. So that I could hold her... even if for one last time before the lock down... I could tell her... that I love her...