Untitled.... Dazai Osamu

~~He was my everything~~

This Chapter is more of Chuuya's perspective.

!!mentions of Self-harm at the beginning of chapter!!

If uncomfortable with this type of work, feel free to skip to the next heart.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■enjoy!■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

"Hmm~Mmhmm~"

Chuuya hummed to himself, a mixture of whimpers and sobs. Dragging his razor slowly but with force to make some deep cuts.

".. Dazai..." Grabbing his kitchen knife, he slashed on his wrists and thighs. His head felt light, he felt sick. STOP! STOP! His head throbbed, tears streamed down his cheeks.

   Disgusting... I'm disgusting. Chuuya smiled weakly, the need to be held and cared for increased, he needed Dazai.
The warm feeling of his blood dripping down his arms soothed his heart, it reminded him of Dazai.

♥︎

Wrapping himself with bandages, after he was done he stared at his reflection. Uncombed hair, puffy eyes, disheveled clothes, he was truly disgusting.

How did Dazai manage to love him? Only Dazai loved him. The years spent alone gave him time to reflect, he wanted to know more of Dazai.

Why would he leave the port mafia? He could have atleast taken him with him. He probably fell out of love for me, no surprise I'm disgusting.

Chuuya sighed, he was a mess. Just the thought of Dazai made his heart ache. Was there a possibility he and Dazai could be together after all?

With that thought in mind Chuuya felt a new sense of determination! He would get Dazai back no matter the cost! Dazai was like a shadow, and a shadow only appeared with light. Chuuya was the light and Dazai was his shadow, they were equals.

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Flashback: 3 years before Dazai left.

Chuuya and Dazai sat on a small picnic table.

  Dazai ran his fingers through Chuuya's hair. "You're so pretty." Chuuya tensed, his face turned a deep shade of red. Chuuya started to fidget with his sleeve, "Thanks."

At times like these it was fun to tease Chuuya. Dazai placed a soft kiss on his cheek, "I love you slug..." Chuuya's heart warmed up, "I love you more than you can imagine." Chuuya teased, Dazai huffed. "Surely I love you more!"

Soon after they started bickering, Chuuya tackled Dazai to the ground. His arms wrapped around Dazai's waist. "Stop arguing about love, you know I love you more."

Dazai grumbled, "Help! A wild dog is attacking me!" Chuuya glared at Dazai, who had a mischievous smirk on his face.

  That's when Dazai wrapped his arms around Chuuya's neck and pulled Chuuya down, kissing him passionately. Chuuya was startled, but soon he started to kiss back. His face was furiously red.

A while later they broke the kiss, both panting for air, Chuuya more than Dazai. "You Sneaky little!" Chuuya lightly punched Dazai on the arm. Dazai softly laughed "You enjoyed it, I felt it."

Chuuya stood up. "Stupid Mackerel. Out of everything I could've done I fell in love with you." Dazai chuckled, but his thoughts were running wild.

You think I don't know! I'm not human! Nobody can love me... the likes of you wouldn't understand.

For a split second the light in Dazai's eyes faltered. Quickly the light returned, he couldn't let his mask fall, No. Matter. What.

"Hey, Dazai." Chuuya held his hands. Dazai tilted his head, "What is it?" Chuuya leaned in his face inches away from Dazai's.

At that moment, for the first time Dazai felt his heart flutter, "But I don't regret it. Love you!" Chuuya placed a small kiss on his lips and rushed off.

  Dazai stood there for a few seconds before he ran after Chuuya. "Hey! Come back!"

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Ok.... so I may have wanted to feed you guys some Soukoku and maybe myself. I love Soukoku! Not as much as Fyozai, but if someone held a gun at me and asked which one, Soukoku or Kunidazai then definitely Soukoku.

(I do love me some kunidazai and jelly chuuya tho.)

It's pretty short but this is like a look through Chuuya Nakahara and what he's feeling after Dazai broke up with him and his departure.

Love, Cringe writer!