Take Courage, My Heart

Chapter Two

The dining hall was large with four tables that fit eight people and five tables for six people each. There was a bar at one side, close to some double doors that I figured led to the kitchen. Just like the rest of the windows on the main floor, the ones that were here were also barred and shut. It was a cool room, ventilated well, but not good enough to get the stench of old food out of the walls. Some guys had already lined up at the bar where they handed out trays of food and I followed their lead and stood behind them.

I wasn't particularly hungry, nor did the smell that had taken over the dining hall seem appetizing. But Kevin had said that we ate three meals a day, I hadn't seen any mini-fridge in my room, nor any vending machines in the hallways, and I had seen that faculty had to unlock the dining hall doors. So, I was making myself at least try to eat the food so I could say I had thrown something in my empty stomach.

After the incident, I had only taken a couple of bites off a sandwich they had given me on my way here so I should have been starving. I was never a glutton but it appeared that nerves and anger made me forget about hunger altogether.

The food looked absolutely horrid. I had been at a hospital, I had been on planes, I had even been at the worst fast food place in perhaps the world, and yet all those seemed like gourmet meals compared to this.

The pasta they were serving here was so overcooked it bordered on puree and for some reason it was sour. The vegetables -cauliflower and carrots- could pass as vomit. And the meatballs... I didn't even want to think about what they had done to the meatballs. I felt bad for them.

I picked a six-seat table at one of the far corners of the room and moved the food around the tray with my fork as more guys walked in quickly and lined up for food. Some looked my way, but most got their trays and sat down to eat, minding their business. Nobody came towards the table I was at, and I honestly didn't mind. If anything, I wanted people to avoid me.

It started a little after Kevin came into the dining hall. He had given me a indecipherable look and then he had sat down at a table with some other guys. Just as he sat down, low static came through the speakers that I hadn't noticed. Most of us jerked at the sound and Kevin's gaze immediately found me. I squinted at him and slightly tilted my head, unsure of what was happening, and then a moan echoed in the room.

It was hushed and breathy, but it was a moan and it was followed by a chuckle.

"You are so fucking easy."

In the actual moment, the words had been just an arousing whisper. A mess of syllables hot on his tongue against my skin. But now, coming off of the speakers in the cold and foreign dining hall they disgusted me.

"Just a cock in your mouth and you spread your legs, huh?"

At once, I shut down, refusing to feel any of the emotions that flood through me. Their disgusting tactics would not work on me.

Rude and vulgar who lacked respect, discipline, and shame he had called me. If I were those things, what kind of fucked up were they to broadcast the audio file of one of my sex tapes during lunch? Is this how they intended to make me feel shame? Is this how they intended to straighten me out?

With a scowl, I rolled my shoulders as the sounds of moans got louder and more high-pitched. If this was the game they wanted to play, I would play. I'd play and I'd win.

I unbuttoned the cuffs of my sleeves and reached up to loosen up my tie, not removing it though. Shuffling and groans and the sound of skin hitting skin echoed from the speakers. My fingers moved to unclasp the buttons of my shirt, starting from my neckline and going down.