the gift of fear (tomarry) (harry x death)

i hate it most when they're kind, when they have meaningful lives

Tom receives a letter at the start of the day: You will deny my name three times before the day's end.

Ravenclaw House is full of two types of people: the people that obviously belong here... and the people that subtly do. Nerds and 'I need to get an A or I've failed' type kids -- and then 'I know an answer to every riddle' and 'I am a creator and my pencil is my weapon' type of kids. He is of the former. But he is interested heavily in the latter.

He does not get an opportunity to talk with Harry until a few weeks into the school years -- the first weekend where Tom is not occupied with homework or, admittedly, exploring his new environment. He has learned carefulness from being in Harry's home for so long; he will always scope out the arena first before deciding if he needs to attack.

He forgets sometimes that existence is not a war he needs to win.

In the meantime, he works hard. Contrary to the Sorting Hat's belief, he is not ambitionless. He wants to be top of his class, Prefect, Head Boy, graduating with a dozen OWLS and max NEWTS. He wants to be exceptional.

He does not want to be exceptional to have a way out of Harry's grasp as soon of he's of age. He wants to be exceptional to avoid the guilt he -- and most other Ravenclaws -- sets for himself. Teaching himself up to high school Muggle math, english, social studies, and science was not a breeze -- but he did do it, and that proves he's capable of anything he puts his mind to.

He wants to also prove to Harry something: Despite everything I've done, the monster that I am, and everything that's been done to me, I am remarkable. This cannot be taken from me. I am not a traumatized house elf sent home after his first mission only to never be sent out again.

In short: He wants to be impressive. That is his vague ambition.

He is also working on a side project. He just has no idea how to start, or where. The Sorting Hat would call it 'aimless.'

He is lonely, however; Kreacher and Klippers' (oh, Klippers, he thinks, dreadfully) absence is sorely felt. His friends no longer surround him. He needs, like any child does, company.

But in Ravenclaw, company is hard to find. You're more likely to find 'study buddies' than anything.

But in Dumbledore's Transfiguration class, he sits side by side with one Myrtle Warren. She is a mousy girl who chews constantly on her hair and looks like she's consistently on the brink of tears. She is also one of the latter Ravenclaw types, the more abstract intelligence.

Professor Dumbledore asks her to transfigure a needle into hay and her chin wobbles, eyes glistening. He says, "That's quite alright," and calls on someone else. But during practice time, when Tom had completed the transfiguration within the first ten minutes, he notes that Myrtle does not try the spell out traditionally.

The wand movement is off. She whispers the spell and mispronounces the words. From her wand is a burst of color -- the wrong one -- and then the needle turn into a button, then into a thread of hay.

She takes the wrong steps to get there, but gets the right answer.

Tom is downright impressed. "Amazing technique," he notes.

She blinks at him with large, clouded eyes. "Are you making fun of me?"

"No," he says. "I am not. How did you do that?

"That's -- um -- just, uh, how I do magic, I guess..."

"It's wonderful," he compliments. She goes bright red. Impractical, he thinks. Wonderful, but impractical.

Professor Albus Dumbledore, a tall and thin man with thick ginger hair and blue eyes, wanders around the room, giving tips and warding points. He stops in front of his and Myrtle's table. "Wonderful spellwork, the both of you," he says, grinning. "Ten points to Ravenclaw."