Noco Oneshots!

Satire Noco oneshot

(This is all a joke obviously, just thought I would make a satire one cause why not! Also me and my friend made the image at the top)

Warning: LOTS OF SWEARING

{Cody's POV}

Now like, because I'm Cody Emmett Jameson fucking Anderson, I am ALWAYS horny as fuck.

And that one night Noah slobbered all over my ear by placing big fat kisses on it, tee hee, it tickled a lot! 😍😍😍

And now I can't stop thinking about it! I probably came 56 times because of his lips kissing my big ass ear.

And the worst part is I can't even stroke my dick because it's like 8 feet tall! And you know what's even worse!? Noah told me he wanted a boyfriend that had a 12 foot cock!

Oh cruel world! Why must you give me such a small tiny dick! Now I'm sad! And mad!

Maybe my, oh so strong lovey dovey big dicked little munchy pumpkin poo Noah can cheer me up! Heehee Teehee.

Even though we aren't dating, he still kissed me so that means he wants me to suck his OH SO GOOD dick!

Alright time to go to his cabin! Tee hee, this is gonna be so much fun! Hee hee.

I went to the cabin door because Noah is reading in there like the FUCKING nerd he is. So now I have to go see Chris because he might have a key.

Oh but of course Chris is a fucking moron and lost the key up Chef's ass!

Wait speaking of ass! I rememberd I shoved an axe up my ass to see if I could ride it! My mistake, tee hee. I'm just so quirky! Hee hee 😍😍😍

Now that I have an axe i can break down the door! I break down the door and see Noah jacking himself off with his book, it's so hot to see him squeezing his dick in between those page's.

"Cody what the fuck you little twink ass ballsack looking bitch, get out of my cabin." Noah said, but I'm not gonna listen because I'm horny as fuck and I needs my mans.

"Well Noah I wont because I want to suck on that OH SO YUMMY, slippery slimy, juicy fat ass penis, may I?"

"You want to what now?" Noah said.

"I SAID I WANT TO SUCK ON YOUR FAT COCK BITCH, WHY WONT YOU LISTEN, THEY SAY YOUR SO SMART, 180 IQ MY ASS, MORE LIKE 180- IQ DUMB BITCH." I yelled, why wont he understand I want his yummy in my tummy boner.

"Look Cody as much as I want you to as well. I dont think you can handle the truth." He said disappointed.

This bitch really think I give a damn about what it is. How freaking rude!

"Yeah yeah let me hear it."

"The thing is.... my dick has edges..."

I GASPED SO HARD, SURE ENOUGH WHEN HE SHOWED ME HIS COCK IT WAS AS SQUARE AND LONG AS HIS GIANT ASS HEAD.... WHY DIDNT HE TELL ME SOONER!!!!

I then flipped the table over and made my gaurd stance. "Noah, I dont care if your dick looks like minecraft blocks, I WANT IT."

After thinking about a block going down my throat, I just thought it would be like minecraft! Yay my dreams are coming true!

After my lovey dovey crossed crissed egg head bitch, Noah said yes, I got down on all fours like the true dog inside of me and went to town!!!!!

His sweaty, hairy, slimy, juicy ass balls were smacking against my face and I swear I came 729292 times.

Oh I just love his blocky dick, tee hee 😍😍😍

Then everything exploded because not and I started seeing white!

(End of dream)

I woke up startled, what was that? I thought. I looked next to me and see my boyfriend is still asleep.

Strange, what a weird dream I had... more like nightmare if I'm being honest.

I checked the time on our alarm clock, seeing it showed 7:15 A.M.

Sighing, I lay back down and tuck myself in again, slowly closing my eyes.

"Cody?" I hear, I open my eyes again to see my boyfriend's eyes lidded and barley open.

"Yeah?" I whisper, wrapping my arms around him to feel his warmth.

"Mmm, is everything alright?" Noah says, returning the favor of hugging me back.

"Yeah, just had a strange dream is all..." I said feeling my eyelids droop.

"Alright, you can tell me it later, but I'm pretty tired right now, love you Cody." He said, snuggling his head into the crook of my neck and shoulder.

"Love you too Noah." I kissed his head and snuggled in even closer, drifting back into a slumber, hoping I dont have that strange dream again.

875 words

So yeah, I decided to just turn it into a dream and what not. Honestly I'm not the biggest fan of this, I do like the ending though. Satire is kinda hard for me to write so yeah, I hope you guys liked it anyways and sorta found it funny. Please tell me if you would like me to do another one!