5WIRL + Wanderer COLLAB!!!

Chapter 10

  Kazuha took a deep breath before stepping into the training room.
  "Kazuha! Perfect timing! I just finished setting it up!" Venti exclaimed excitedly.
  "Setting what up?..." Kazuha'a eyes then locked onto the giant beanbag in the corner. "How did you get that through the door?..."
  Venti wiped his hands off, "because I'm amazing!"
  Xiao chuckled from the table.
  Kazuha walked over to Venti, "where did you even get this???"
  Venti laughed, "does that matter? Its so comfy! I was hoping this would encourage us to bond more!"
  Kazuha shook his head, "what?..."
  "Speaking of bonding!" Venti leaned in close, "have you asked Kuni out yet???"
  Kazuha shook his head again, "no, I can't. We aren't allowed to date."
  "*In public*."
  Kazuha sighed, "I... I want to tell him how I feel today..."
  "That's great! You're so close to your fairytale ending!" Venti embraced him tightly.
  "I don't know about that..."
  "Well, if he doesn't like you he's, first of all blind! And second, just a big old dumb dumb!"
  Kazuha laughed, "thank you, Venti..."
  "Anytime!"
  The doors opened again and in stepped Kunikuzushi.
  "Speak of the devil and he will appear," Venti whispered with a giggle.
  Kazuha nodded absently. He felt so nervous and scared. Then he felt even worse when he saw what was in Kuni's hand.
  The bag Beidou had lent him... which meant Kuni was returning Kazuha's clothes... and that meant that everyone was going to find out that Kunikuzushi had been to his house... and then Kazuha will be teased for all eternity...
  Kuni waved at everyone as he walked over to the table, where Xiao was working and Heizou was passed out, snoring quietly.
  Aether sat up from within the beanbag, causing Kazuha to jump back in fright.
  He smiled innocently.
  "How long have you been in there?!"
  Aether shrugged as he struggled to stand up.
  Kazuha sighed, pressing his hand to his chest. His heart just couldn't seem to catch a break...
  Aether walked over and tapped Heizou's shoulder. Heizou jolted awake, "I'm up!!!"
  Xiao giggled, "go back to sleep, Heizou. We can practice without you for one day, you've been working way too hard."
  Aether nodded and pointed to the beanbag. Heizou slowly stood up with a long sigh, "oh, alright... but only because it looks so comfortable..."
  "You're welcome!" Venti clapped his hands together.
  Xiao stood up, "as for the rest of us, I want you all to listen to what I've finished for Kuni's song, that way we can start recording for it and plan how the live performance will work."
  Everyone gathered around Xiao's computer and he unplugged his headphones.
——————
  Aether sighed quietly as he sat down beside Heizou and pat him on the head. Heizou opened his eyes groggily, "hm???"
  Aether giggled as he ran his fingers through his hair, "we're all finished for the day."
  Heizou yawned, "I slept the whole time?... gosh, now I feel like a bum..." He rolled onto his side and put his arms around Aether's abdomen.
  Venti plopped down beside Heizou, "Xiao! Come play with my hair!!!"
  Xiao rolled his eyes as he walked over from where he had been cleaning up, "you're so needy."
  Venti frowned, folding his arms, "well, now you don't get any head scratches!"
  "I'm only joking," Xiao said gently as he sat down and started undoing Venti's braids.
  Kunikuzushi slowly sat down beside Aether, "this is the biggest beanbag I've ever seen..."
  Aether nodded with a bright smile.
  Kazuha sighed heavily as he joined the others on the beanbag, laying perpendicular to everyone else so there was enough room. He was thoroughly exhausted from stressing over everything today... Why did he do this to himself?...
  It was nice and quiet for a long time. Everyone was peaceful and content. And slowly falling asleep.
  Kazuha opened his eyes as he felt the beanbag shift when someone moved. He looked around to find Xiao and Venti were hugging one another while asleep. Aether had fallen asleep sitting up and Heizou was snoring quietly in his lap.
  Kunikuzushi was the one who had moved. He was still sitting up, but had moved closer to Kazuha; closer to the edge of the beanbag.
  He noticed Kazuha's gaze and whispered, "you can go back to sleep," and put his hand on Kazuha's head.
  Kazuha closed his eyes with a nod.
  Kunikuzushi moved closer again, petting Kazuha's head. "Your hair's really soft for being dyed..."
  Kazuha smiled tiredly, laying his head against Kunikuzushi's leg, "I take good care of it thanks to Beidou and Ning..."
  Kunikuzushi nodded absently, staring off with a tense expression.
  "Is something wrong?" Kazuha asked.
  Kunikuzushi shook his head, whispering, "no." Then he sighed, "well, sort of..."
  Kazuha moved onto his elbows, waking himself up, "do you have to leave soon?"
  He shook his head, "it isn't that..."
  Kazuha had the feeling it was something heavy. His eyes drifted down, "oh... are you alright?..."
  "Yeah, I'm fine," he rubbed his eyes.
  Kazuha reached out to touch his hand, "are you sure?..."
  Kunikuzushi heaved a sigh, "no... I'm not sure... I thought I was over it but it keeps being brought back up..."
  Kazuha waited for him to go on, gently pressing against him.
  "I told you about how I was assaulted," Kunikuzushi wouldn't look at him.
  Kazuha nodded, "yes..."
  "It was nothing and it didn't even bother me that much." Kunikuzushi shook his head, "it doesn't make any sense."
  "And yet here you are..." Kazuha whispered.
  Kunikuzushi sighed, "being healthy is so hard sometimes..."
  Kazuha agreed, "I know... but it's worth it."
  "Is it?"
  Kazuha hesitated. Then he laid his head down and closed his eyes, "yes. It is."
  "Kazuha, why did you decide to quit smoking?" Kunikuzushi asked unexpectedly.
  Kazuha took a deep breath, "lots of reasons. I need my voice for my career... and I know it breaks Beidou's heart that I'm addicted... and now I need to set an example for you, too..."
  Kunikuzushi snorted, "I'm older than you."
  Kazuha smiled, "I know."
  "You're so weird," he shook his head.
  Kazuha put his hand on top of Kunikuzushi's, squeezing him gently. "You don't have anyone to quit for... that's why you're not trying..."
  Kunikuzushi lowered his voice, "I have Nahida... but she doesn't know..."
  "Then why keep going? You're risking her finding out..."
  "I know..."
  "What about me?" Kazuha asked.
  "Hm?"
  "Quit for me," his eyes were weighed down again.
  Kunikuzushi stared at him, "for you?..."
  "Yeah... quit with me... we can hold each other accountable..."
  "Oh..." Kunikuzushi didn't say anything for a long time.
  Kazuha caressed his knuckles with his thumb, "have I ever told you that your hands are really soft?... I could hold them forever..."
  Kunikuzushi chuckled, "how tired are you?"
  "Please... quit for me..." Kazuha whispered.
  Kunikuzushi nodded, "I'll try, but no promises."
  Kazuha smiled, "thank you..."
  "WAH!!!" Venti suddenly sat up, waking everyone at once.
  "What's wrong?!" Xiao grabbed onto him.
  "I'm late! I was supposed to be at the hospital, like, a half an hour ago!!" He scrambled off the beanbag and gathered his things. Xiao followed suit.
  Heizou groaned as he rolled over, "you didn't have to yell..."
  Aether yawned as he laid down on his side. Kazuha made himself sit up as Xiao and Venti darted out.
  Heizou sighed as he took Aether's hand, "when do you want to leave?"
  Aether shrugged tiredly, "I don't have anywhere to be."
  Kunikuzushi stood up and walked through the door to the balcony. There was purpose in his steps. And that's what worried Kazuha.
  Kazuha hurriedly stood up and went after him, but he hesitated at the door. Kunikuzushi was trying to work through something difficult... What if he just needed some time alone?...
  But Kazuha couldn't shake the terrible feeling that Kunikuzushi might do something irrational...
  He slowly pushed the door open, peeking through it.
  Kunikuzushi was sitting with his head against the rails and his back to the wall. As the door opened he pressed his eyes into his knees with a quiet sigh.
  Kazuha silently closed the door as he stepped out. Then he slowly sat down beside Kunikuzushi, "may I?"
  He shook his head, refusing to say anything.
  Kazuha collected his thoughts. He whispered, "you said your... you said your restraining order keeps being brought up? Has he tried to get in contact with you?"
  Kunikuzushi shook his head again, closing his arms around his legs.
  Kazuha leaned his head against Kunikuzushi's shoulder, "I know it sounds fake, but talking about it will help you sort yourself out..."
  "Nahida said the same thing..." Kunikuzushi sighed.
  "Then it has to be true, right?" Kazuha smiled.
  Kunikuzushi shook his head once more, "I just... I hate thinking of him badly... ... ..."
  Kazuha nodded, "I understand... you don't want to accept that he isn't as good as you thought?"
  Kunikuzushi nodded silently.
  "That's how I felt about a lot of my exes..." Kazuha hooked his arm around Kunikuzushi's, "and I'm not trying to make this about me..."
  "No, I get it..." Kunikuzushi lifted his head and stared at the wall. "I... I guess I'm sort of lying to myself, aren't I? How hypocritical of me..." he chuckled sadly, his eyes shining with perspiration.
  Kazuha looked down, "it's not a bad thing to want to remember someone fondly..."
  "... but that's not what I'm doing... what I did. I keep lying about what happened without even thinking about it... It's like a compulsion not to tell the whole truth..."
  Kazuha paused to think for a moment. "A compulsion?... Do you want to protect him, then?..."
  "I don't know," Kunikuzushi shook his head as he put his face back in his knees.
  "If... Would you like an opportunity to share the whole truth?..."
  Kunikuzushi took a shaking breath, "I keep saying that all he did was kiss me... and that's almost true... I just... It's like I *can't* say the rest..."
  Kazuha shifted his weight and put his arm around Kunikuzushi. "You've been holding onto this for so long, Kuni..."
  "I know..." his voice wavered. "It's horrible, but I felt so relieved when he was gone..."
  "How is that horrible of you? Kuni, he tried to hurt you," Kazuha said worriedly and earnestly.
  "I keep lying about that, too... I keep making excuses for him... saying that he didn't mean to hurt me... He's human, too..."
  "Not all humans are good, Kuni," Kazuha whispered, "you know that. You said so about HARBINGERS."
  Kunikuzushi nodded, taking another deep and shaking breath. "I know..."
  "I know you cared about him once, but you said that he wasn't who you thought. You need to let go of your idea of who he used to be... because you're trying to defend someone who doesn't exist..."
  Kunikuzushi finally gave in and leaned into Kazuha's embrace. "It's so stupid..."
  "No, it isn't," Kazuha smiled, holding him tightly, "dealing with things like this isn't easy... and not everyone will deal with it the same way."
  Kunikuzushi let go of his legs, wiping his eyes, "I know that, that's not what I meant..."
  Kazuha waited for him to go on, gently rubbing Kunikuzushi's arm.
  "I overreacted to... well, everything..." he heaved an exhausted sigh.
  Kazuha shook his head, but didn't say anything. He didn't know the full story, after all.
  "He didn't just kiss me and ask me to be his. He put his hands on me." Kunikuzushi got the words out as quickly as he could, closing his eyes tightly. "Here," he pressed his hand against his left hip, "under my clothes."
  Kazuha grew tense. He was somewhere between shocked and enraged. But then he pushed his emotions aside, knowing Kunikuzushi needed comfort more than anything right now. He held Kunikuzushi tighter.
  "Everything just happened so fast. I didn't even realize until I tried to push him away..." Kunikuzushi clenched his jaw, trying not to be so emotional about this. He felt like he was overreacting again. "And I screamed..."
  Kazuha moved one of his hands to the back of Kunikuzushi's head. He whispered gently, "I don't think you overreacted at all..."
  Kunikuzushi shook his head but didn't say anything.
  "Don't invalidate your feelings. Kuni, your reaction was accurate to your situation. If someone touches you like that and it's unwelcome of course you're going to react like that. You were only trying to defend yourself."
  Kazuha took a deep breath, "Kuni, you have a right to protect yourself. You're allowed to be angry, and even hate him for what he did. Quite frankly, I classify his actions as a betrayal to you."
  Kunikuzushi looked up, his eyes wet. "That doesn't make sense..."
  "You trusted him as a friend. And he betrayed that trust by trying to force himself onto you."
  Kunikuzushi looked back down, "that's such a harsh way to say it..."
  "It's accurate." Kazuha stated sternly. "Don't take his side anymore. You know it was wrong of him. I know... I know it hurts to accept that he's so awful... But you'll only hurt yourself by continuing to hold onto who you thought he was."
  "Does it ever get better?..."
  Kazuha smiled, "when you have people to confide in, and people who *truly* care about you, yes. A thousand percent yes. But not if you keep everything to yourself." He poked Kunikuzushi's nose, "and as flattered as I am to be so close to you, I think Nahida deserves to know the truth, too."
  Kunikuzushi sighed, wiping his eyes again, "stop being logical..."
  Kazuha chuckled, "it's only because I care about you so much."
  "I know, I know," he shook his head to clear his mind. Then he leaned back against the wall, breaking free of Kazuha's embrace.
  Kazuha slowly reached out and wiped a tear from Kunikuzushi's cheek with his thumb. "Do you need a minute?..."
  Kunikuzushi shook his head, "no, I'm fine... and I'm sorry to trouble you with all this... I've got all these problems and I make you listen to me, Ahaha..."
  "Trouble me?! Kunikuzushi, you aren't giving me any trouble at all! I enjoy talking to you, even if it's about what's bothering you. Every conversation we have brings me closer to you," he pressed his hand against Kunikuzushi's arm, "don't feel bad at all. I'm happy to help in any way I can. Honest."
  Kunikuzushi closed his eyes with a sigh. "Why are you so nice to me?..."
  "Hm?!"
  "You're just so..." he sighed in annoyance as he sniffed. "There really isn't another word to describe you. You're just an Angel. One I haven't asked for..."
  Kazuha blinked in confusion. He was about to feel bad, but then Kunikuzushi finished his thought.
  "But one I definitely need." He smiled sadly, "thank you, Kazuha... For listening to me and helping me."
  Kazuha was elated. "Of course, any time."
  Kunikuzushi chuckled, "I've done enough ranting, feel free to cry out all your troubles to me, too."
  Kazuha smiled, "this sounds so conceited, but I don't really have any trouble right now. Well, nothing serious anyways..."
  Kunikuzushi chuckled, "your love interest? Are they still as oblivious as ever?"
  Kazuha became bashful, "it would seem so. I'm actually planning on confessing... though, I had hoped they would realize my feelings sooner..."
  "Are you certain of your feelings?" He asked suddenly.
  Kazuha blinked, "what? What do you mean?..."
  "Sometimes emotions can be confusing and complicated... I just don't want you to misunderstand what you're feeling... Are you certain you're in love with them?"
  Kazuha felt his very being melting! Kunikuzushi said that with such sincerity! He really did care for Kazuha!
  "I- yes, I'm certain I love him." Kazuha felt himself blushing very hard.
  Kunikuzushi nodded, "alright... Have you tried... being more physical with them? I mean, it seems some people just won't realize someone likes them until they've been asked out or kissed."
  Kazuha paused, "no, I... I'm way too nervous for that... I've done a lot of little things and we've been getting very close recently... But I don't think we're anywhere near being intimate in that way."
  Kunikuzushi nodded as he pulled his knees back to his chest. He really wished Kazuha liked someone else... He was trying so hard to find something that said it was anyone but himself. "Do you think they return your feelings?..."
  Kazuha laughed nervously, "I don't know for sure, but my roommate is convinced they do. And- and I have the smallest feeling they do... I really don't want to assume anything or get my hopes up, but they... they've kind of been flirting with me for a while..." His face got hotter and hotter.
  Kunikuzushi smiled, "that's cute." Could it be?! Was it really someone else?! Kunikuzushi had never flirted with Kazuha, so it had to be someone else!!! Finally, something seemed to be going his way!
  "Well, good luck with your confession," Kunikuzushi chuckled as he stood up.
  "Thank you, it means a lot to me..." Kazuha stood as well.
  Kunikuzushi pushed the door open, "let me return your clothes before I leave."
  "Oh, that's right," Kazuha had almost forgotten.
  "Huh?!?!" Heizou sat up abruptly. "Kuni has your clothes?!?! What'a happening?!?!"
  Kunikuzushi laughed, "it was raining the other day, remember?" He walked over to the table and handed Kazuha the bag Beidou had lent him. Then he shouldered his own bag, "I'll see you tomorrow."
  Kazuha quickly embraced him, "have a safe drive."
  "Thank you again," Kunikuzushi whispered as he pulled away. Then he made his way down into the lobby, where he was greeted by Nahida.
  Kunikuzushi took a deep breath after they got into the car, "Nahida, can I tell you something?..."
  "Of course, anything." She smiled, pressing her hand against her chest.
  "Just so you know, I'm here, too," Miko said from the drivers seat.
  Kunikuzushi paused, "that's alright. You both deserve to know."
——————
  "They fell asleep?" Nahida blinked.
  Miko motioned for Nahida to follow her, holding her finger to her lips. They both quietly snuck into the TV room.
  Asleep on the couch were Ei and Kunikuzushi, leaning against each other. The TV was still on, playing a baking competition that seemed way too intense for what it was.
  Nahida smiled, whispering, "that's so cute..."
  Miko nodded, "I'm glad he told us... Do you think it's because of what Ei said yesterday?"
  Nahida paused, "uhm, partly. I think he confided in Kazuha, first. They always talk out on the balcony before he leaves. And right when we picked him up it was on his mind."
  Miko smiled wider, "what do you think about that?"
  "It makes me happy that Kuni is so close to someone. I don't think he's ever had anyone like that." Nahida pressed her hand to her chest, "I hope Kazuha will help him undo the rest of the knots in his heart."
  Miko chuckled, "so you don't think Kuni has confronted him yet?"
  "No, otherwise he probably would have told me." She shook her head.
  "A shame," Miko sighed, "the sooner the better, right?"
  "Not necessarily, Miko. I think giving Kuni time is good. After all, he's just now getting over his assault. I foresee some future issues with this, too. I don't know that he'll ever be completely comfortable with being touched..."
  Miko nodded, "probably... I cant believe that happened right under our noses! I mean, we were just down the hall..."
  Nahida agreed, "it feels like we failed... but Kuni doesn't see it that way. I think he... I don't think anything would have changed if we had been there to see it. He said everything happened at once. You may have fast reflexes, but-"
  Miko sighed heavily, "alright, alright, I'll stop being so twisted up about it."
  Nahida giggled, "good."
——————
  Kazuha returned home feeling a mixture of emotions. He was glad that Kunikuzushi felt safe enough with him to tell him everything... but his chest felt incredibly heavy now that he knew the whole truth...
  "Eyyyy, welcome back!" Beidou greeted him from in the kitchen.
  Kazuha made his way in, setting the bag of clothes down on the counter. He sighed as he sat down.
  "Oh no..." Beidou slowly set her soda down, "did your... Does he not feel the same?..."
  Kazuha blinked. "Huh? Oh- oh, I haven't confessed yet..."
  "Then what are you so down about?" She inquired.
  "Kuni and I are getting closer, but... he shared something kind of depressing with me today... We worked through it, but all the heaviness is hitting me just now..."
  Beidou chuckled, "it's still progress, right? And you seriously need to get on top of confessing!"
  "I know," he sighed. "We've only got two more months until the Live..."
  "Are you planning on waiting until after so things aren't weird? That's too far away! That gives him time to fall for someone else and we can't have that!!!"
  Kazuha chuckled tiredly, "I don't want to wait so long either... As I held him in my arms he was so... soft in my embrace... Is it wrong of me to be so happy about it?"
  "Uh- maybe not wrong, but it can come off as a bit creepy..."
  Kazuha pressed his eyes into his arm, "that isn't any better..."
  "Well, uh, maybe it depends on the context??? Like, we're you just hugging, or?..." Beidou tilted her head from side to side.
  "Beidou, I *held* him... He was about to cry..." Kazuha mumbled.
  "Dang, I didn't think you two were *that* close! It's only been a few weeks since you met! I'm surprised he's so comfortable with you already!" Beidou clapped, "he's got to like you back!!!"
  "I don't know..."
  "Also, what did you mean by 'soft'? Coz that makes me think you're talking about the texture of his skin???"
  Kazuha blushed, pressing his eyes into his arm more harshly, "it wasn't like that..."
  "Then explain!"
  Kazuha took a deep breath, "he was just... I don't know... soft seemed like the right word..."
  "That doesn't help," Beidou rolled her eyes with a giggle.
  "Uhm... he was... I guess I expected him to be less... squishy?..." Kazuha only got redder in this hell of his own creation.
  Beidou laughed, "you are *so* weird! What?! Wait!!! Do you have a favorite place to touch him yet?!?!"
  "NO!" Kazuha exclaimed as he sat up abruptly, "absolutely not! We- we aren't even-"
  She laughed harder, "what? Too shy~?"
  Kazuha blushed ever harder, "no, I just don't want to hurt him or scare him away..."
  "Hurt him?! Isn't he stronger than you??"
  "I don't know, but that isn't what I meant anyways." He folded his arms.
  "Then what did you mean???"
  "I told you he was assaulted..."
  "Oh. OHHHHHHH." Beidou pursed her lips, "dang... I guess I can't really tease you about touching him anymore..."
  Kazuha shook his head with a sigh, "either way, he's the one touching me more often."
  "Hm?!?!"
  "I-" Kazuha held his hands out, "the choreography! The choreography!!!"
  "Ah, so they have him being the-"
  "Beidou!!!" Kazuha leaned over the counter and grabbed her arm aggressively.
  She laughed, "alright, alright! But it's because he's taller right?"
  "Yes," Kazuha sighed as he sat back, "it just makes things easier..."
  Beidou raised her brows, cracking a smirk.
  "Don't you even think about saying that out loud." He frowned at her.
  "Whattt??? You're both adults," she shrugged innocently.
  Kazuha sighed, "it's only one song that's like that anyways..."
  "And?"
  "... well, it's not like he *wants* to touch me like that," he folded his arms tightly.
  "How do you know?"
  "Hm?!"
  "How do you know? Like I keep telling you! He totally likes you!!!"
  "But- but he even said that he wanted a break from songs like that," Kazuha hurriedly added.
  "So? You aren't doing a very good job of convincing me. You don't even seem fully convinced yourself!" She laughed.
  "Beidou... I just- I would appreciate it if you wouldn't make it seem like touching is all our relationship is..."
  "Okay, okay, fine! I'll stop," she rolled her eyes. "You know I only tease you because you let me."
  Kazuha sighed, "I know..."
  "I mean, he's got to like you at least a little bit if he's willing to share something so close to his heart with you. He doesn't seem like a very open person."
  "Yes... I- I guess... But he hasn't really said anything about his opinion of me..."
  "Bruh! You're both just sitting there twiddling your thumbs and waiting for each other to confess! Somebody has to be the one to make a move and I vote you!!!"
  Kazuha jumped, "huh?! But- but I-"
  "What stopped you from telling him today, huh?? Coz it would 'ruin the moment'?! No way! I think it would be super cute if he spilled his guts out to you and then you confessed because then he'd know that you love him despite his issues!"
  Kazuha blinked. "Oh..."
  Beidou shook her head as she took a drink, "missed opportunity..."
  "Then... then I'll be sure not to miss the next one." Kazuha said with determination, "tomorrow I'll tell him for sure!"
  "That's my boy!!!"