5WIRL + Wanderer COLLAB!!!

Chapter 13

  "Hey, Nahida?..."
  "Yeah?" She turned to find Kunikuzushi leaning against the doorframe.
  "How do you love someone?"
  She paused to think, "hmm... that's a good question... I don't know if I'm qualified to answer it. Let's go ask Miko and Ei."
  "Wait," he held his hands out, "I don't want them to know yet."
  "Know what?" Nahida tilted her head to the side.
  Kunikuzushi's face started to get pink, "uhm..."
  Nahida's eyes widened, "I've never seen you that color before. Are you sick?"
  "Don't point it out like that!!!" He got more pink. "I did something stupid and I'm trying to fix it!"
  Nahida asked, "what happened?"
  "Yeah, we're all dying to know!" Miko exclaimed from behind him.
  "Why are you here?!?!" Kunikuzushi jumped.
  "I heard my name so of course I'm here! Ooh! Is it family therapy time?!"
  "What?! No!" Kunikuzushi backed away from her.
  "I think it is!" Miko grabbed Nahida and Kunikuzushi, pulling them into the living room and forcing them to sit down.
  Ei smiled from her chair, "evening."
  Kunikuzushi folded his arms and shut his mouth tightly. He would not indulge them!
  Nahida paused, "Kuni said he didn't want you two to know yet. I think we should respect his wishes."
  "But I already know," Miko shrugged, "and you already know."
  Nahida sighed, pressing her face into her hand, "Miko, I wanted him to tell us on his own time."
  "How would either of you know?!" Kunikuzushi exclaimed.
  "Beidou has been texting me," Nahida sighed again. "Even so, I don't know how to answer your question..."
  Ei sat up straighter, "what question? Am I missing something?"
  Kunikuzushi groaned as he covered his face and slumped down in his seat.
  Miko giggled, "I know what happened because I know everything!" She flipped her hair dramatically as she took the other chair.
  Nahida took a moment to think, "Kuni, you don't have to-"
  "It's fine," he grumbled as he sat up. "Two of you already know anyways."
  Ei listened intently, trying to get a grasp of the situation.
  Kunikuzushi seemed to have trouble putting it into words. "I... This is so dumb- I agreed to... give Kazuha a chance..."
  Ei blinked, "a chance?"
  "That means they're dating now, Ei," Miko translated.
  "Oh," Ei smiled, "that's lovely."
  "No. It isn't lovely." Kunikuzushi put his face in his hands again, "I don't know anything about dating..."
  "You should ask Miko your question," Nahida put a hand on his arm.
  "She isn't going to give me a serious answer. She'll say something weird and gross just to see my reaction." Kunikuzushi shook his head.
  Miko chuckled, "I cant deny that."
  "Then let me try to answer it,"  Ei sat forward.
  Kunikuzushi looked up at her. He paused for a long moment. Then he asked, "how do you love someone?..."
  Ei faltered. She hadn't expected that. "Oh... well, that's rather complicated... I think... I think you can love someone by doing just about anything. I love Miko by talking to her and listening to her. I love Nahida by helping her with whatever I can. And I love you by being here."
  Kunikuzushi took it all in. He wasn't sure if this was the answer he was looking for...
  "Is that good enough?" Ei asked.
  "I think you gave a great example," Miko clapped her hands together.
  Nahida nodded, "I agree. It's all circumstantial."
  Kunikuzushi sighed, "I'm such a fool."
  "Hm?" Everyone waited for him to go on.
  "Kazuha... feels very strongly for me..." Kunikuzushi's cheeks started to get pink again.
  "Well that much is obvious," Miko rolled her eyes. "There are hearts in his eyes whenever he looks at you!"
  Kunikuzushi pursed his lips, "I don't want to hurt his feelings but I... I don't think I feel the same..."
  "Think?" Nahida asked with a smile.
  "I don't know," Kunikuzushi closed his eyes, "I'm not good at figuring out how I feel..."
  Nahida smiled wider, "you enjoy spending time with Kazuha. He makes you happy. He makes you smile. You find his presence comforting. I think all these things speak for themselves."
  Kunikuzushi stared at her. Then he looked down at his knees without a word.
  "You may not feel as strongly for Kazuha as he does for you, but there's something there. Even if it does turn out to be nothing romantic, don't ignore it. Listen to your feelings," she closed her eyes. "Feel them like the first sprinkles of rain in the spring. Embrace them like a warm cup of cacao in the winter."
  Kunikuzushi shook his head, "you and your weird metaphors..."
  "Was that confusing?"
  "No, I understand what you mean," Kunikuzushi clasped his hands together. "Even though you said all that like it was fact, I don't... feel anything... It's..."
  "But you were blushing earlier," Miko pointed out.
  "That's different," he folded his arms. He just couldn't seem to sit still.
  "I'm going to say something," Nahida started, "and I don't want you to think I'm mad at you for it."
  Kunikuzushi grew nervous, "okay..."
  "I don't think that you don't know how to love. I think you just aren't letting yourself love." She stated firmly.
  Kunikuzushi searched her face, "I... what does that mean..."
  It was obvious that he just didn't want to hear this. Nahida took a deep breath, "this is why I told you to listen to your feelings, Kuni. You've ignored them for too long... Being with HARBINGERS taught you it was weakness... But you can't be happy unless you *let* yourself be happy. And you can't love unless you *let* yourself love." She smiled, "loving isn't always easy. Everyone has their ups and downs. Don't let yourself be pressured by stereotypes and stuff."
  Miko nodded, "m, wise words... Nahida, I think you should go into counseling."
  Nahida giggled, "I can only say these things with certainty because I know Kuni so well."
  Kunikuzushi slowly leaned back, "okay, sure, maybe all that is true... but what do I do with it?... How do I... listen to my feelings?..."
  Nahida giggled, "this isn't something someone else can teach you. It's a path you have to walk alone."
  Kunikuzushi spoke very quietly, "Kazuha said something about the hard part of relationships is making your partner feel loved..."
  They all waited for him to go on.
  Kunikuzushi struggled to put it into words, "how do I... love him right?..."
  Miko chuckled, "that isn't something someone can teach, either. Why not just ask Kazuha?"
  Kunikuzushi got pink again, "I can't do that..."
  "Why not? It's the fastest way to figure it out," Miko brought her hand to her chin. "Who would know Kazuha better than himself?"
  Nahida giggled, "Kuni, we can't really help you with any of this. These are skills you will learn overtime... And," she smiled brightly, "for saying you don't think you return his feelings, you're trying awfully hard to love him."
  Kunikuzushi got very very pink. "That's-"
  "Aww!!!" Miko cooed. "Ei, it's his first crushhh~"
  "No it's not!!!"
  Nahida laughed, "don't tease him too much, Miko! He might start steaming!"
  "Not you, too!!!" Kunikuzushi hid his face behind a pillow. "You're all terrible!!!"
  Ei chuckled lightly, "I'm... happy... that Kazuha and you are together, Kuni... and not just because it's cute..."
  Kunikuzushi peeked his eyes out over the pillow, still blushing profusely.
  Ei's smile widened, "but because I get to watch you grow... I know I was never there for you, and I regret it. But now I get the chance to help you navigate through life. I cant guarantee that I'll be any good help, but I want to try. Please, ask me anything you want."
  Kunikuzushi hesitated. "Uhm... how do I... learn what Kazuha might like?... Without asking him."
  "Observation," Ei nodded, "I learned that Miko moves her hands around a lot when she's frustrated because she feels like she has no control. It's a little off topic from your question, but it's the same. After I learned this about Miko I started to take her hands and let her hold onto me, so she didn't feel so overwhelmed."
  Kunikuzushi's eyesbrows came together, "uhm... I guess I've noticed that Kazuha lowers his voice when he's nervous..."
  "That's a good starting point," Ei held her hand out, "now, how can you help him? Ask this question when you notice little things about him. It will help you in the long run, it'll make it easier to love him in an obvious way."
  Kunikuzushi put his face back in the pillow, "this feels so dumb..."
  "Love him like you'd love anyone else first," Nahida offered.
  Kunikuzushi shook his head, "I don't know..."
  "Well you have all night to sort yourself out," Miko laughed.
  "Great, now I'm not going to sleep," he sighed heavily into the pillow. What was he going to do?... What if he couldn't love Kazuha?...