Before you... (Norray)

Chapter 09

Hii! Usually I don't want to leave a note before a chapter but I wanted to say that this chapter starts a week after the end of last chapter. Enjoy loves <33

Norman's POV>

Ever sense last week Ray hasn't said anything to me. I tried texting him. I asked if he was okay. I really wanted him to respond but he left me on read. I talked to Emma after that, no answers came from her and honestly and I'm trying to not let myself feel hopeless.

About a hundred thoughts blaze through my head as I sit in class waiting for the bell to ring that'll single the end of school. I hear the bell ring and I leave class as quickly as I can and start to look for Ray.

Somehow I literally bump right into him. "Hi.." I say shyly. I begin to fidget with my hand. He looks at me "did I do something wrong Ray?" I ask.

Rays POV>

I stand there not knowing how to respond or even how to breath for a second. Does he seriously not know? We kissed, he kissed me! We went on a sorta date and he kissed me!Then he just feels fine flirting with some girl? I take a deep breath "Yes Norman, the fact that you need to ask if you did something wrong makes me angry." He looks at me, confused, kinda sad. That just makes me more angry. "That girl Norman! You were flirting with that idiot girl!" I shout at him as quietly as I can shout. "What the hell are we Norman?! I mean we say we're not dating but you kissed me in that stupid coffee shop and half the time I don't know what we are." I pause to take a breath "before you...my life was the same everyday it dragged on and on with no purpose to it, and then- I met you and everything's just instantly different! Id never even snuck out before I met you, Emma invited me to a few parties but I never went but you convinced me to just by existing!" He looks as my feet while I speak, refusing to meet my eyes. Ashamed. "Ray I-.." he begins to mutter "no! Norman, I don't wanna hear it! when you know what we are we can talk, I'm not your side piece," I tell him firmly as I turn to walk away, home, I don't have anywhere else to go anywhere else today.

Norman's POV>

I stand in the busy hall not sure what to say or do, or even exactly what just happened. Nobody else in the hall seems to have noticed (or maybe they just don't care) because they keep on walking around me, talking and laughing. It feels like the world just stopped spinning but clearly it didn't, but I can't move. I just stand here.

My eyes sting but I'm afraid to blink because I'm afraid I might start crying as reality is just hitting me, the reality of what happened, what's been happening. Then I feel disappointed in myself, I really fucked up a good thing didn't I? Why the hell did I do that? I begin to walk down the hall towards the doors. I feel sick to my stomach, if I was him I would have slapped me.

(After Norman's arrived home)

I swing my front door open to find my mom sitting in the couch. Her long whitish blonde hair seems to sparkle in the light, her eyes shine a familiar blue. She looks at me, I look at her. Something about the way she's looking at me makes me start to break inside but I take a sharp breath "hi mom, your home early?" She nods and smiles softly "yes, I decided I'd come home a few days early, you're dad had a few things to find finish up in over in Greece," she calmly tells me. Her voice now more than ever is comforting. Clear and calm is the two words that best describe my moms voice, comforting in a close third. "I have loads of homework to do, I should go start that," I explain as I try to rush by her. "Norman," she calls before I have a chance to leave "whatever's going on, I promise it'll turn out fine," she assures some. "Thanks mom, I love you," I reply. I feel tears swell up in my eyes as I briskly walk into my room.

I lay in my bed, Ray on my mind. How we met in French class. How I let my grade drop to a D just so I could ask for his help. Looking back I could have just pretended I was failing I didn't actually need to lower my grade. That one time when we kissed in the hallway right as the bell rang. How we kinda made out at that party and then I had to cover up hickeys on my neck when I face timed my parents and when my aunt came over. Hanging out at my house after school and laughing so much it hurt. Holding hands during lunch and kissing in that cafe. Now I'm just angry at myself for not seeing how much Ray means to me, how stupid I am. How can I just kiss him one day and then flirt with a girl the next. My feelings were complicated but I knew that he was right. I need to figure my feelings out. I feel hopelessness settling in. What if I never figure it out? It's really over, I really fucked that up...

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Chapter nine completed!

950 words!