The Reclamation

9

Millie, my mom and I pick Mia up early, just as promised. The sun has yet to come up, and it feels like we're in a limbo waiting for time to start again. School doesn't start until 7:15, and we walk in the doors of Starbucks at 6:27 as we wave my mom and Millie off on their way to Millie's middle school. Mia and I are quiet this morning. Sure, it's early and we're barely awake, but the thought of school looms over us like a dark cloud. We stand in line, order our coffees, and sit down at a table while we wait.

I look up at Mia for the first time today, and I can tell that her eyes are puffy even though her head is tilted down to study the table. I want to say something, but my words are catching in my throat. My hands are clammy. I've been back to school twice prior to today, so I know roughly what to expect.

I'm expecting something terrible.

But I know Mia has to be dreading today too, probably worse than me. This is the first time she'll be at school since...

"Hey," I muster up.

Mia looks up from the spot that she was focusing on. "Hey."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. You?"

"Just about the same. It'll be okay though, I promise," I say. I don't know how I can promise something that I don't even believe myself, but I would say anything to ease her worry. "They have metal detectors at the door now, police patrol the building, and there's new protocol for... situations." I say, attempting to convince myself just as much as Mia. "And if you have any issues," I wave my phone at her. "Text me. I'll be down the hall."

Mia forces a smile, and I can tell she's easing up a bit.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" I ask her.

"Not really. Did you?"

"Barely. Good thing we both got a Venti." Mia gives me a laugh that feels a little warmer than her smile. And almost on cue, the barista calls our names.

Mia and I calculate exactly how much time it will take for us to get to school, stop at our lockers, and figure out where we're going. After all, we only had about three full days of school before it happened. We barely even know our class schedules. We eat our breakfasts slowly, watching the sun brighten the sky through the tall windows. Mia and I milk every second we have left at Starbucks before we have to leave for school.

We walk outside into the brisk morning air with our backpacks and gigantic cups of caffeine. It is beginning to feel a bit more like a late September day in Wisconsin. A damp chill clings to our skin. The morning has a lingering fog that sits on the grass as the sun warms the air around it. It can't be above 60° right now. Mia wears a pink cami with black sweatpants and a matching black zip-up that she took advantage of immediately after we got outside. I have a gigantic gray sweatshirt that hangs down over my orange gym shorts. I don't mind the cold, it distracts me from our destination. It makes me feel more present. Mia, on the other hand, complains the whole way to school.

"How was it so warm yesterday, and now I'm shivering? This is ridiculous!" I happily listen to her rant. Mia talking reminds me that she's with me, her voice soothes me. I even try to egg her on when I feel her temperament simmer down.

"Well, I'm nice and warm right now."

"Of course you are! You're wearing a sweatshirt that you could easily fit a walrus in! That's not fair!" I just laugh along.

Then it comes into sight. After about eight minutes of walking, we reach the block that our school is on. Mia's voice fades out. Whether it was because I stopped listening or she stopped talking, I'm not sure. It could have been both. But we are both painfully aware of where we are now. We trudge along.