Soul Stealer ~ (A Bucky Barnes Love Story)

Strange Encounters

Three weeks later we were still holed up at the cabin in the middle of nowhere. Updates from Steve were becoming less and less frequent. It felt like something was coming, something big, but I had no idea what. The last time we spoke he said they might have a way to relieve some of the "Governmental pressure" on Bucky and myself, but when I'd pressed him for details he'd shut down. The most he disclosed was they might know where something was that the Government wanted, and there was a possibility they could retrieve it...in exchange for the Government not tossing the two of us in a cell and throwing away the key.

That wasn't vague or anything, but I decided to trust my father and the rest of the Avenger's. Really, what choice did I have?

So while the rest of Earth's Mightiest Heroes attempted to make nice with the Government Bucky and I hid in Tony's cabin, dancing around our feelings and each other. It wasn't exactly awkward. There was very limited space in the cabin so avoiding each other outright was a fool's errand.

We still talked, ate together, watched TV, trained every morning despite my very vocal protests, but what we didn't do was mention anything having to do with that night, otherwise known as the earth shattering kiss that had plagued my dreams every night.

There was this tension between us that wasn't negative, it was more charged, electric. It was a draw that made it nearly impossible to keep my hands to myself. I know the former assassin felt it as well. I'd seen his shoulders tense and fingers curl into his fists enough to know he was actively suppressing his desire to reach for me. Even if I couldn't see it I would know because I was doing the same damn thing.

That kiss had changed everything. It was like removing the lid from Pandora's box, every suppressed emotion, what if, and dreams for a future I probably didn't deserve rushing out so quickly it made me dizzy. In a word it was scary. That didn't mean I didn't want it. No, I most definitely wanted it, and him, but it was overwhelming.

I'd lived most of my life alone, an outcast among outcasts, and then one day there was Bucky. I was stolen from my former life, thrust into his, and despite the agony of mourning what I'd lost I wasn't sure how I'd survived a day without him.

He became my world.

My reason for existing.

My everything.

We'd danced around whatever was between us for over 50 years, and in less than a second it had all been undone. I was on the verge of having everything I'd ever wanted, but on the other side of the coin was the fear of losing it all.

What if we went down this path and it didn't work out?

What if I lost him?

The thought alone was debilitating. I wouldn't survive losing Bucky. I would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all so I let fear override my desire. I only let myself think about what could have been when I was sure I was alone, in my room, with the bond firmly shut. Only then did I imagine a future where we were together, in love, until the end.

With a sigh I walked down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen and the smells that made my empty stomach grumble. For someone who grew up in the midst of the Great Depression and a World War that severely limited resources Bucky sure could cook.

"That smells like a heart attack and bad choices," I joked as I watched him drop a slab of butter in a frying pan with two steaks, sliding onto a stool at the kitchen island.

Bucky pursed his lips, shaking his head, "I think you're confusing this with the frozen cheese sticks and the bag of suckers you tried to eat for dinner last night."