Soul Stealer ~ (A Bucky Barnes Love Story)

Someone I Used to Know

I took another deep breath, trying to soothe my rising anxiety to no avail.  Every tip and trick Dr. Nose Hair ever uttered wasn't doing a damn thing to help.  Turning my head side-to-side I cracked my neck before refocusing on the blank wall in front of me.  I had no idea what time it was, only that it was the middle of the night and I'd been sitting on the couch in our living room for hours trying and failing to calm down. 

I knew there was no chance of me getting any kind of sleep, but for Bucky's sake I'd crawled in beside him and closed my eyes earlier.  The former assassin fell asleep unusually fast allowing me to slip out of bed and into the darkened living room where I could continue to freak the fuck out without disturbing his peaceful slumber.

"Evie?"  My shoulders slumped in defeat.  Or not.  "What are you doing sitting out here in the dark?"

"Nothing." 

That was the honest truth.  I wasn't doing anything.  I was just watching time tick by, wondering if I wanted it to move faster or slower.  Second guessing every single decision that had let me to this point.

Bucky sighed before sitting down and immediately gathering me in his arms.  "It's going to be OK." 

"I know."

"You realize even without the bond, which is broadcasting everything you're feeling like a megaphone, I'd know you were lying?"

Dropping my head onto his massive shoulder I interlaced our hands.  "I'm hoping if I say it enough I'll start to believe it."

"You don't have to go."

There it was.  The simple sentence no one had been brave enough to utter since I'd made this decision.  He was right.  I didn't have to do anything, not anymore, but how could I live with myself if I didn't do this?  If I ran away simply because it was the easier option?

I sat up, shifting my body so I was fully facing him.  He turned slightly, giving me his undivided attention. 

"I'm a lot of things Buck, but I'm not a coward.  They've already taken so much.  I won't let them have this too."

He stared into my eyes for what felt like a year before giving me a firm nod.  He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead before pulling me closer.  "OK."

"OK."

We stayed like that the rest of the night.  We didn't talk.  We just sat on the couch wrapped in each other's arms until there was a firm knock on the door hours later.  Bucky stood and went to the door as I pulled myself to my feet, rolling my shoulders and swallowing around the giant lump in my throat.

Steve and Bucky nodded awkwardly to each other which almost made me smile.  The two centurions may have buried the proverbial hatchet a few weeks ago, but my dad still couldn't handle his best friend and daughter shacking up together out of wedlock.  It appeared no matter what time period he was in Captain America was a prude.

"You're up...and dressed."  My father sounded stunned and to be fair he had a point.  I wasn't exactly a morning person, but I'd ready to go since midnight.  "Everything OK?"

"Couldn't be better," I replied quickly, my voice far too wobbly and high pitched to be believable.  Steve glanced at Bucky who subtly shook his head making me cross my arms over my chest defensively.  "I may be freaking out, but I have eyes and that..."  I pointed between the two.  "Was not subtle."

"I wasn't aiming for subtle," my live-in boyfriend countered, coming to stand in front of me, "I was aiming for the truth."

I scoffed, annoyed he was right.  Rolling his eyes, he held my face in his hands before slowly inching his way into my personal space.  My body instinctively moved closer, and for the first time in six days I felt like I could take a full breath.  His eyes tracked across my face before he slowly lowered his head, his soft lips brushing against mine in a barely there kiss.