Trash of the Royal Family (Ao3)

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Older children playing house were obviously terrifying.

A redhead could be seen casually—as in loitering around and all—openly flirting with the First Prince.

Also, that first prince, to whom these nobles would buy this "terrifying third-rate-house-play". His baby was even pushing them to the point where they became accustomed to each other's presence.

"Your Highness, apart from taking my breath away, what else can you do?" Cale asked one afternoon in the middle of nowhere, during a party, no less! He's not even bothered by the possibility of being shunned for being so daring.

"I never believed in love at first sight, but that was before I met you," Alver said at a meeting just before Cale Henituse arrived in his carriage to visit Callie. I swear there were sparks instead of flowers all around.

"You're like a fine wine; the more of you I drink in, the better I feel," Cale teased another time while drinking wine like a fish in front of the queen, consort, and concubines.

"No wonder the sky is gray—all the color is in your eyes," Alver said one day while Deruth Henituse was fuming over dog food, and even his son looked disastrously pleased (actually disgusted). Who the hell says it's dark, bleak, or whatever adjective you want to use to sum everything up when the sun is up and high in the sky? The sky is blue, and it's quite hot, so it couldn't be considered dark. The first prince had to have gone blind or insane.

"Don't worry, grandpapa, Hyunnie is very sane and normal," the Seventh Prince says openly, as the Second Prince helplessly (has) cheers them out.

And... who would want a seductive Cale Henituse? "If being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged." That was awesome Kabedon while feeding Alver with wild raspberries from the forest. Girls were frolicking around Alver when Cale walked in with a cute woven basket that his butler had prepared ahead of time. His cool image was ruined by that pink basket. But he looked so cool when he pinned Alver to the chair, arm over his head, leg in between his legs. Queen Amiah even stated, "the First Prince will be under his cool wife," while sipping tea.

"I've heard that kissing is the 'language of love.' Would you like to talk about it with me sometime?"

*Squeal* Instead of going after Alver, there's the Baby Cale and Hyunnie Prince Fanclub, which is approved, and recognized even by the crown. Yeah, that knucklehead king went ahead and approved the petition that arrived just before the marriage proposals were submitted.

"Yuck, so cheesy," Robbit sneers as he bearhugs his Callie. He can't look at them because they're all over each other. "They even have a fan club."

"Mommy is pretty, and Hyunnie is handsome, especially when he's 'that.'" Callie laughed as he watched his mommy and Hyunnie get to know each other in the most bizarre way possible. "You're like that with Iris-noona too."

Robbit frowned. "I wouldn't be surprised if they really fall in love," Robbit said as he kissed Callie's neck. They only reconciled because Robbit promised them some cool gems.

"Hahah! It tickles!" Callie laughs as he watches his Hyunnie stand up to his Mommy, who is currently teasing the other while exchanging deathly and completely disgusting pickup lines.

This marriage proposal was made by the third prince's faction

"Are you sure you're not going to give Grandpa Benedict's incredible tutelage to Hyung?" Robbit inquired. He suffered greatly from Grandpa Benedict's book.

"Compared to Brother Ribbit, Hyunnie handles his love life flawlessly even without Grandpa Benedict's wisdom!" Callie boasted.

In fact, Alver read that book before THEY began their game.